[Sara Brells]

@eko.windiarto This is such a beautiful revelation! Thank you for sharing. We live in a society that holds goals and achievements and progress on a pedestal, and through that process, often forgets the beauty of the journey – I have to constantly remind myself of this, and your post served as a great reminder, so thank you. 🙂

[Sara Brells]

@JessBuckley I nearly laughed out loud when I read your post, not because there was humor in it, but because I did the. exact. same. thing. to my partner. During the eclipse, out of seemingly nowhere, a voice burst from my inner shadows and pummeled him with an array of my truths and challenges in our relationship and current lifestyle. In no way was this initial approach productive or healthy. However, it did ultimately lead to me remembering to listen more deeply to his truth, and in turn, he finally opened up about things that he’d been suppressing and that had been weighing us down in our partnership. Thank you for your vulnerability in sharing!

[Sara Brells]

I just returned from a few days camping in the woods with three dear soul sisters. One of them posed the question to the group, “What has this quarantine period revealed in your relationships at home?” Without agreeing to nor needing to name it, I felt us each practicing deep listening as each person shared. There was no comparison of experiences. There was no judgement. We held space together for each person’s journey. And in that space, new revelations came about. I think we were each talking from a place in our subconscious, processing out loud as the words unraveled from the inside out. I wonder if this same rawness would have existed if even just one of us was not practicing deep listening.

Perhaps it was a coincidence, but I like to think not: as we were each sharing, the weather slowly turned more dark and grey. It even threatened us with a few drops of rain. It seemed to be reflecting the shadow work we had cultivated within ourselves. However, once we had all shared and lightened ourselves through that sharing, the dark clouds rolled away and turned into a crystal clear night with a blanket of stars overhead.

[Sara Brells]

@JessBuckley Thank you for sharing about this wander. The imagery and symbolism is beautiful. I can really relate to your closing statement, regarding how your mind can provide good reasons for X, Y, and Z, however, following what your heart knows is key. I appreciated your response to my previous post about how you are deciphering between your heart and your thoughts, and I hear you living this out in this post.

[Sara Brells]

On my first intentional wander in a forested park walking distance from my home, the dichotomy between my logical, meaning-making thoughts and my inner knowing was incredibly prominent. I see-sawed between the two states of being until several surrender breaths in prayer position helped me drop in. Prior to that, my inner knowing led me to establishing a sit-spot at the base of a curved maple, looking up at a resilient cedar that appears to have survived a fire. My logical brain debated with itself about which question I wanted to ask. Eventually the cedar told me, and that is when I was able to drop in. I’m finding that often times the message coming from that deeper place within is the one to which I am more resistant, the one that is more challenging or, dare I say – fear-provoking. That is the intention I chose to move forward with courage. And once I did so, my logical brain was no longer distracted by the voices below me on the trail or by the mosquitos swarming for my blood.

My wander led me in a broad, left-turning circle to a plant – cleavers – that I recently was learning and wondering about as medicine. Right next to the single patch of cleavers in this tiny valley behind the main, was a moldy, overgrown baseball. I didn’t yet know what the baseball meant, but it struck me, as it felt so out of place and yet perfectly placed beside the cleavers. I felt very strongly that the plant was offering itself and I was pulled to give thanks via prayer (the second prayer of the day, and I am not one who typically puts palms together with the specific intention to pray) to the plant, make an offering in return, and then harvest some of it to bring home. After this small ceremony, I felt my wander coming to a close as it led me back the way I came. Suddenly though, I felt urged to turn uphill and led to another large cedar, behind which was hiding a ton of oregon grape, as well as an opening into my neighborhood that I didn’t know existed.

Later, walking back down the trail, I felt all I had witnessed soaking into my bones. Without thought, a scene from my childhood appeared vividly in my mind’s eye. It was a traumatic event that occurred after a baseball game, and it told me what I needed to work on healing. And I know that the energetics of cleavers will support this healing. I then found my logical mind trying to take over and analyze the other things I was led to, such as Oregon Grape – “this must also be a plant medicine you need!” it said. And then I heard a voice resonate out from within saying, “OREGON.” My second question, the one I set aside, seemed to have been answered as well. It was centered on where I want and need to root myself. It’s like I unknowingly put out both intentions into la pachama and she helped me prioritize, then responded to both. I left with much more clear direction as to where I need to be investing my energy right now in terms of my own healing as well as in creating the life I want to live.

I am eager to do more. I also feel a resistance, which tells me more wanders are exactly what I need.

[Sara Brells]

Something that really stuck with me after Session 2 was the notion that words are memories. Our brain goes to the “why” and uses memories to make meaning, thus extracting me out of my bodily, intuitive experience and into a thinking experience. I am a wordsmith. Not only am I a writer, I also nearly always have a constant flow of inner narration and dialogue. I’ve been on a journey to cultivate a better balance between my heart and my mind for a number of years now. This notion gave me a whole new, deeper understanding of my own challenge and journey to discover this balance.

After practicing the sensory awareness meditation a number of times and moving into objective awareness, I realized that state was very familiar. I am still sitting with the following idea: I think I fairly frequently move through the world with wide-angle vision and objective awareness. It’s those stretches of time when my inner narration ceases and I feel a wave of peace and a buzz reverberate through my whole body – I’ve always considered myself to be “zoning out” in those moments, and even judged myself for it. I’ve moved in this state since I was a young girl, and it was not always accepted. I now notice I find it really challenging to maintain when in conversation and interaction with others, and I wonder if it is due to the judgment I experienced when I was young. Yet again, I’m experiencing a shift in perspective and am learning to accept and embrace and better get to know this part of me.

Bridging these two points – my relationship with words and my experiences with objective awareness – bring me to my experiences thus far with the 7 Breaths meditation. Sometimes when doing the meditation, I find it really challenging to drop into a place deep enough where the words disperse and my inner knowing speaks up. I’ve arrived there a few times though, and I know it because the messages show up in images instead of words. For the past month, I’ve been basking in vivid scenes and new symbols that are helping guide me into new waters, such as ancestral work.

I feel incredibly grateful for this community and these new tools that are teaching me what is the work I need to do right now.

[Sara Brells]

Jess,

What you wrote about the never-ending to-do list really resonated with me. I’ve made to-do lists since I could write, and I’ve often wondered what that says about my perspective on productivity. I’m a big fan of accountability partners, so if you ever want someone to check in with regarding creating space for the important pieces that are not on our to-do lists, let me know! 😀

Also, I appreciate your metaphor regarding the loop between inner and outer exploration for that wholeness. I’m going to sit with that one more. Thanks!

[Sara Brells]

For me, nature-connection refers to the journey of strengthening my relationship with the natural world both in and around me. It is that “reclaiming of our wildness” that Steven Harper wrote of, the unleashing of my true “vitality.” My journey so far is a conglomeration of discovering how the natural world influences my physical, emotional and spiritual self, and also recognizing how my own actions influence the natural world. It is feeling how the moon’s cycles impact my own energetic and physical cycles. It is befriending the plants that soothe my anxiety. It is sitting with the sunset. It is being conscious of my role in consumerism. It is awakening to the bird songs and lying still, building awareness of their language. It is learning about the connections between astrology, plants and humans. It is expressing gratitude to mother earth for all she produces for us. It is exploring how to grow my own food. It is finding nature both in my own body and in the world all around me and embracing the notion that I am part of nature, not a separate entity from it.

Nature-connection is important to me on both a micro and macro level. On the micro, personal level, I feel in my bones that the depth of my nature-connection liberates my most authentic self. I am on a journey to better know that version of me. On a macro-level, I think the understanding that “We are nature, we do not have nature,” could be the tonic that begins to heal so many issues prevalent in our society today. As was mentioned in our first call, too many people believe that humans not only can dominate and control nature, but that they should. I believe this mindset is what gave way to the grossly inequitable structures of capitalism that drive consumerism, ravage the natural world, and disadvantage millions of humans worldwide. I believe that the more humans who are empowered to return to the ancestral knowledge that we are nature, not a separate entity from it, the greater chance I believe we have to slowly begin to heal our earth and society.

It is my very socialization within a capitalist society that makes me my own real challenge in maintaining my nature connection. My logical, ego-influenced self still perceives fast-paced production and efficiency as the signs of progress and success. My heart-based self knows I need to shed those societal impositions and “shoulds” and keep digging into my shadows and inner wildness. This is where I most fully experience nature-connection, and life overall! Yet that inner knowing competes with my brain-based self, racing forward, hyper-focused on one sense and on my work. When I get in this zone, I do not maintain the same sense of presence, intention and awareness of the natural world in and around me. I do not make time for the rituals and practices that I know help me strengthen my connection with nature. It is an ebb and flow, and I’m learning to have grace with myself, acknowledge when I’m in that state, and slowly bring myself back into balance with nature and ultimately, with me.

[Sara Brells]

Greetings!

My name is Sara – I will be dialing in from my home in the PNW where I work as a public school teacher. I’ve been following EBI for several years now with the intention of participating in the full Nature-Connected Coaching program eventually. I feel that time drawing nearer, and as such, was inspired by the recent e-mail regarding this opportunity. I was particularly struck by the line, “We are being called to reflect deeply on what we have been putting our time and energy into, and to make changes that bring us into more alignment with who we are and who we want to be in the world.” This could not ring more true for me right now.

I look forward to learning and growing with each of you over the next couple of months, and hopefully beyond.

Be well,

Sara