[Sandy Shea]

*Summary Post*

Thank you for all your posts and replies. It has helped me see where I am in all of this. I am still working to get honest with all the parts inside of me–to accept them and not judge them so harshly. As I do this work, i hope to become more skillful at helping clients go to that placemore easily, and begin the work of self-acceptance that partswork is based upon. As I work with clients to help them see that ALL their parts are all valid and worthy of voice, I can begin to re-frame how I view my parts a bit and see them all as essential, and valuable, pieces of me. The more I can internalize this, the better I can show up for my clients, modeling that authentically because i am living it.

[Sandy Shea]

*Initial Post—-Partswork*

Hey all,
I just listened to the audio again, and yes, some tracks are pretty bad (worst= #1,2,9).
But I did get a lot more out of what Michael said than the first time and it led me to feel that I only scratched the surface with my client in asking “What part of you doesn’t want that?”, and then trying to have her assume roles and have parts converse and discover their voice and their needs. This all feels more challenging over Zoom, but maybe it was more of me trying to “do Partswork” with a client who has trouble slowing down and going inside as their baseline. But we did have some success identifying a couple of key parts and new awareness was created for both of us around what was driving some old behavior patterns.

Using Partwork on myself has been new and challenging, and humorous, and has provided new information.
I have seen how strong my inner Critic is, and how I have just taken so much of its stuff for granted, and how hard it makes it for the other parts…the Critic has made it hard for me to even admit i have some parts–like an Addict, or even admit that i have a Critic!

This also feels very funny at times. And it is good to get to THAT place of getting some distance from my own process– as Mandy said, putting labels on it helps–and then finding some lightness to the reality of what is. I am still feeling like a newbie working with the Mandala,and i admit my 17 Year Old Kid Part has been very active lately, causing much procrastination in all things EBI. But I do look forward to getting back to actively working with it, continuing to refine and add to it, taking more snapshots, having more conversations and interviews with Parts that are up, or those who want to be…

[Sandy Shea]

*Final Post*
In reflecting on the Gestalt module and re-reading everyone’s posts, i feel deep gratitude for the Gestalt created and held here by our cohort group. We learn from each other in so many different ways, and I keep reflecting on how my journey as coach-in-training is so like the journey I am asking my clients to take, frought with setbacks, and spurts of growth. So, Gestalt has been interesting for me to use and reflect back on my own behavior and habits–how much I project on others, how much I unconsciously have introjected over time, and how all it sits like unquestioned concrete…I see these things in myself honestly and with some humor even. But I do own them, and wish to change them in myself. So, this has been useful to see and now to use this perception more and more with my clients, to catch myself hearing introjects from them because I have ‘practiced’ and been paying attention to hearing it from myself too. We’re all works in progress! This growing humility around my own humanness makes me a more accessible, and hopefully more effective, coach.

[Sandy Shea]

Sorry so late with this. I’m back in the game and looking forward to seeing you all soon ~Sandy

Initial Post — Gestalt
I found I was already doing or aware of several elements of Gestalt before the Gestalt module—things like establishing/maintaining contact, bringing it back to the now, and doing experiments, so it was good to have these practices validated and named in the workshop. Others terms within the Boundary Disturbances I’d only heard vaguely, never really explored, so that is rich territory for me. I’m referring to noticing things like projection, retroflection, deflection, introjections, etc, and how most of our beliefs/interactions are made up of parts of these going on all the time.

I have just started noticing these things with my clients now and find myself musing (“that feels like an introjection. I wonder where she got that?”). And then I can ask the client a potentially powerful question: “I wonder, how else does that belief show up in your life?”

So, it helps me identify those boundary disturbances—which often feel like Parts talking.

Often, when I’m with a client, I get an intuitive idea to do something with them, and I feel Gestalt now gives me greater permission to risk asking the client if it’s ok to try this idea. It’s an ‘experiment.’ This blends well with the 50-50 idea in the threshold experience in nature-connected coaching. As guide, I help to set up and I hold the container for clients as they step out with me into nature. What happens next could be termed a Gestalt ‘experiment’ in nature for me, and the client.

Gestalt has also made me much more conscious of nuances of body language—my own and the client’s, and how this can make or break contact with a client. I’ve found it important to watch how I show up in my full body, in particular how I use my hands in a session. Excessive hand movement on my part can be distracting and take us away from the moment. I feel like I am just starting to tune into people’s body language on a deeper ‘gestalt’ level, and it feels like there will always be more to observe, to sense, and to learn.

[Sandy Shea]

*Summary Post*

I have found it very useful–though not entirely easy–to do the introspection required to successfully answer the question of Ideal Client. When I engage my creative angel and ask,”Who do I want to work with?”, I also have to wrestle with the Fearful Critic whispering something like “Just who do you think you are?” Haha! So, there has been some tension there. But also, this module has been a time to continue expanding my vision, to drill down on the important bits and not to forget that all of you in this cohort and EBI staff contains a lot of support that definitely keeps me going and creatively motivated. Thank you all!

[Sandy Shea]

Foundation 4 *Initial Post*
When you think about coaching and/or guiding others, who comes to mind? What is the population that most excites you, and why? I would like to work with young adults and ‘elders’, for similar reasons. It feels like both of these populations are prone to be in the grips of a hero’s journey, but not know how to deal with it, or even know they are on such a journey. Our culture doesn’t have rituals or rites of passage for these very important times in our lives—the adolescent passing into adulthood, and the post-working life elder moving into the final chapters of their lives. Both phases are overlooked by culture and by those around us. Young people are expected to ‘go out get a job, get married, start a family” and elders are encouraged to ‘settle down’ and ‘enjoy retirement’, yet for so many these cultural prescriptions can often feel empty and supremely meaningless. There is no larger cultural perspective through which to view these huge changes–only the lens of the ‘lonely individual’ caught in a new place that demands a new thing we may not be used to—growth– and some uncomfortable feelings that may accompany it. I want to help people see themselves anew in these places that can be challenging to everything they’ve learned so far. I want to help them ask the right questions—those that come from deep inside—and not just rely on the cultural ‘shoulds’ to get us through. I see myself working with these two populations of clients in very similar ways—to begin the sessions with a deep honoring presence, with stated gratitude and with mindfulness exercises, and to spend a large part of the session—not just the threshold– out in nature. This is the place where I feel I can connect to the world, and from where I can offer the fullness of my total 360 degree presence and attunement for a client. Two organizations that ‘work’ with similar populations are Outward Bound, and NOLS. Although they are not in the ‘coaching’ business, many of the experiences that older and younger students have on these courses can serve as a kind of wilderness rite of passage, and can have some similar elements involving personal growth, new awareness of one’s own life, and can open us to a discovery and a deep knowing of new inner strengths and/or capabilities.

Ideally, I’d like to work with folks kind of like a NOLS course, but to afford individual attention to each person each day during the course of an 8-10 day backpacking trip. I am not sure how I find these clients yet…Other groups that do this kind of work frequently have clients mandated to attend—programs like Crossroads or bluefire. These programs are using more of a clinical wilderness therapy approach to diagnose and fix issues with (mostly) young adults and this kind of work does not interest me so much because clients are not attending of their own free will, (also sometimes an issue on NOLS courses!)

A big part of what I see myself offering is transformation of how the individual sees themselves and their lives, whatever life stage they are at. I believe I can do this using my natural empathetic presence, nature centered coaching, mindfulness exercises, all combined with a long experience in nature, finally letting nature work her magic.

[Sandy Shea]

*Summary Post* Foundation Three-Threshold Experience

For me when thinking about the threshold experience, a lot is coming up with these two phrases: ‘A dance of awareness’, and the old meditation instructions at Naropa ‘Not too tight, not too loose’ Threshold feels like a dance of awareness, as Taylor said, and this implies fully being the dancer, and knowing where I am with my feet in the dance. As the dancer, I’m being carried totally by the music, but not bumping into my partner or others. Not stepping on toes, either…So, a kind of split, or multifaceted awareness is required to be a good dancer with your partner. The ‘not too tight’ phrase keeps coming up for me around holding the experience for others as a guide—to allow the experience to have it’s head, but not to lose control and possibly fall of the horse. The words that come are: skilled, artful, delicate, confident and fluid. Also, tricky! And, when a threshold experience goes not as expected, don’t judge but learn to get right back on the horse and try some more.

[Sandy Shea]

Hi Lisa,
I appreciated what you say in your post about Partswork not always being right –for that client, or at that time. i also appreciated the idea of circling back to parts later in the session, in a later session altogether. Right after the Partswork Intensive, I had the tendency to want to use Partswork with every client in every session–just to try it out. Of course, some clients were not ready, and I had to feeling I was pushing a bit to get one client to go there. Initially I felt I’d not done a good job, but then realized the client just wasn’t ready to go there quite yet. In a later session, she has become more familiar with the idea of parts, and now asks herself “I wonder what part of me is talking right now?”, so it feels like if I just hold the container, the client will get curious enough about what’s going on with their own process and begin to allow the concept of Parts within them to emerge, and to be heard. Thanks for your post.

[Sandy Shea]

Hi Ben,
I really liked that you used the ‘Practice Coach’status to give you a sense of freedom to try new stuff! This is so cool–it reminds me to be authentic and just show up as we are and not get stuck in an idea of who I am!

[Sandy Shea]

Hi Ben,
I wanted to thank you for your post, first of all because I haven’t thought a lot about the eight indicators tool for a while! That is so cool how you used that and the session took off from there. It is a scary moment when a client says “I don’t know.” It is interesting to see what tools we each use. I feel like I’m coming into my own style a bit (which has often been to use meditation, and working with 7 breaths), but want to stay open and reminded of so many other possible tools/approaches that might work better with certain clients or certain situations. So, thank you, and here’s to giving ourselves permission for creative experimentation!

[Sandy Shea]

Hi Lisa,

Thank you for your post on Gestalt, particularly the part about “He’s a 28 year old man” and putting interpretations on the emotional bookcase to see what else comes up in searching for a deeper need. This struck me as a great tool! I was wondering if it works in a similar way to the 7 Breaths exercise, where we ask a question repeatedly to essentially clear away the surface rubble to get at the subconscious–the deeper need or core issue at play. It does sound like you are already doing a lot of what Gestalt is. Also, I love that you are able to parse the therapist from the coach and say it to the client. It feels like saying this out loud in the session helps both parties be reminded and stay on the coaching track. Thanks for your post.

[Sandy Shea]

Hi Ben,

I am amazed at everything you’ve done and everything you have going on. Your work to integrate what you do so it flows across age groups and between individual to community is really cool and beautiful. An ecosystem model for society of the future.

[Sandy Shea]

Hi Lisa,
I really was drawn to several things you said. The Stewards of Peace program sounds very interesting! I’d like to hear more. Using nature to deconstruct and rebuild our psychology was something that struck me as a new way for me to see our work as nature connected coaches. i wonder if you are familiar with Joana Macy’s work, specifically the four stages of The Work That Reconnects–they are: to come in Gratitude, Feel our deep feelings, See with New Eyes, and Go Forth into the world spreading our gifts. For some reason your writings around deconstruction and rebuilding of the psyche remind me of this approach.

[Sandy Shea]

Hi Ben,

Your approach to use the gym setting is fascinating to me and feels really needed.
From your writing it sounds like you have a very clear picture of what an ideal session with the willing ideal client would look like, and it just feels to me like you are a natural at putting a client at ease and inspiring them at the same time. I will be curious to learn more as the course progresses.Thanks for your post.

[Sandy Shea]

Hi Cory,
Thank you and it’s great to hear from you! I enjoyed reading your post as I myself gravitate towards the estoteric, more soul-ful or spirit-ual way of seeing the world, and thus this informs totally my working in partnership with clients. I feel you are looking very deeply at issues around the nature of consciousness and letting those passions direct your offerings to your clients, which feels very in tune with how you want to live your life. This feels worth noting–that as we are being called to have our work and home life be supportive and in consonance with one another. I look forward to seeing you on Monday. Glad you liked the Alan Watts book.