Melissa Johnson
Forum Replies Created
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*Summary Post*
I’ve had a good amount of experience of grief in the past few years personally and attending the intensive helped me personally grow so much, and also helped me learn how to be there for others. I know that grief is a very delicate subject, but with the personal experience I’ve been through and the education I received at the intensive, I feel like this is a path I need to go down. I think that using my negative experiences and turning them into ways I can help others would be an incredible service.
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*Initial Post*
I haven’t had the experience of coaching a client through grief at this time but I feel completely prepared for it, more than I thought I ever would. While I haven’t had an official coaching session, I did have an experience after we came home from the intensive. I was with a friend, getting ready to go out and he got a phone call that his grandmother suddenly passed away.
I had literally gotten back from CO the day before so everything from the Grief intensive was very fresh in my mind. I held the space for my friend differently that I normally would have. Normally I would’ve tried to cause a distraction or use humor, which is some times okay, but in that moment, just being there in silence as my friend cried was what was needed. And I could really feel the energy from my friend letting me know that the silence and support was all that was needed in that moment.
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Cory – Sounds like working with partswork and that little meditation really helped your client. You really seem to show up for your client and hold that space for them very well. Great job!
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*Summary Post*
It’s really awesome to see how far everyone has come since their first posts. We were just barely comfortable with exposing ourselves with client work and now I see how far we are all digging into clients. Everyone seems to have their own approach, and it all works out the way it’s supposed to. There is no “by the book” method for any of us, we work with what we are comfortable with and what we know. Whether it be in the gym, on a farm, or on a journey, we all have started our own ways to use the skills we have obtained. The brain change courses have just gave us so much knowledge. It’s helpful to listen to clients talk about how they feel, or what they do, but it’s so powerful when you can tell them the science behind it.
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*Initial Post*
I always like to start off a session with establishing some kind of grounding first. I feel that helps the client to take a minute to themselves and focus on what they want to achieve during the session. It can be silent, breathwork focused, quick guided meditation or a moment of gratitude. Usually after that brief moment I will simply just ask what’s going on for them today and what does the client want to walk away with from the session.
One client I work with gets VERY stuck in her headspace and it’s been difficult for her to get to her heartspace. She is a co-worker and we do hour sessions during lunch breaks occasionally. Our environment outside of work is very busy, being in a city, and I think that could be playing a huge part in not being able to have that silence and nature around us. We have had a few sessions and usually all she wants to do is vent about work issues and one topic brought up trying to be perfect because her father has a very successful career. I think that’s a road we can dig deeper on, however, she’s quick to change the subject.
We spoke yesterday and we will be having sessions AFTER work from now on so we can really find the right environment for us. A more private space with less distraction and I am hoping that helps her to focus more deeper and what’s going on in the heartspace. While the convenience of the lunch breaks was great, it just doesn’t work right now, especially during winter, it’s frigid out there. Environment of where you have a session, whether indoor or outdoor, really can make a big difference in letting your client express themselves.
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Wow @ Strong Ben! This sounds like a great experience, not only for your client, but for you as well. To be able to see how nature can show up for client in your first NCC session sounds incredible. We have talked before about wanting to have sessions jump out of the gym and into nature and this session really knocked it out of the park for you.
Sounds like you gave the client just the right amount of space and instruction that was needed in the session for such a positive outcome. Great job!
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*Summary Post*
I think we all went into Trauma with our own ideas of what trauma was and what it wasn’t. I feel like all of us have learned such a great deal of how big trauma actually is and how it can affect us all in large and small ways without realizing. I certainly thought trauma was essentially something after a tragic event, not realizing all the different types of trauma, how it shows up, and how it can constantly show up not just directly after that event. I feel like I have a much better understanding of what trauma is and how to approach it, and understand if a client is experiencing or re-living a traumatic experience. I would’ve never understood all the ways it can come up in our lives if it wasn’t for this incredibly helpful course.
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*Initial Post*
I have begun working with a client who is essentially a ball of constant anxiety. During our first session, she originally thought her goal was quitting her job and moving to NYC. By the end of the session we discovered she has no self worth from trauma from a past relationship that has left such damage on her life, that she has no confidence in being able to take steps towards her goals. She is lacking confidence, self worth, trust in herself, trust in others, doesn’t believe she can succeed, etc. She said the anxiety hits her most at 2am-3am when she wakes up in the middle of the night.
I told her the next time she wakes up in the middle of the night with an anxiety attack, take 7 deep breaths, jot down how she is feeling, take 7 more breaths, jot down those feelings again and see if anything has shifted.
During the beginning of our second session, she was proud to show me her “homework” – After the first 7 breaths her words were “fuck, im not okay, stressed, tired” after the second 7 breaths her words were “this is nice. i’m going to be okay. calm. tired”. We both thought it was really cool to see how quickly the breathing shifted her anxiety.
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*Summary Post*
After reading everyone’s posts, it’s great to see how much more awareness everyone has been having in themselves and in their clients. After this intensive it has become so clear to me that we have been given the tools to help empower our clients with knowledge. It’s one thing to be able to guide a client towards achieving a goal, but to help them understand the brain changes that it takes to reach that goal is more valuable in my eyes.
Like Cory said though, we can only do so much. The client has to want the changes bad enough to take the necessary steps in order to succeed. There is only so much energy we can put in to our clients before it becomes unhealthy for us. This is why I try to not have any expectations, as to not get let down if a client disappears, or doesn’t follow through with an assignment. Our clients can only hold themselves accountable for their actions, it is not for us to do that. We can help bring awareness and light up a path that may have seemed too dark to go down before, but it is our clients choice if they choose to take that path.
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hi all,
so sorry for being so very behind, trying to play catch up this week.
I am replying and referring to clients I hope to work with in the future, not from a specific session.as far as setting the coaching presence, i like to take the first couple minutes to both get grounded together doing a breathing exercise. that helps to put us both in the same energy space/level and I find it helps me to attune myself to the client. I also feel that it helps the client to just take a minute to themselves to gather their thoughts and feelings of what they would like to work on for the session. After that I would be able to direct the session by asking the question of “What would be a good goal for us to work on today?” or “What would you like to walk away from this session accomplishing?”
I feel like the stages of change and neuroscience will be an incredible tool for my sessions. There is still so much to learn about it but I think we have been given tools that could really help guide our clients in a healthier direction. For example, if a client comes to me asking how come they know what they want to change in their life, they have tried without success, we can dig deeper into the stages of change and why they keep relapsing. In that situation we would discuss how they tried to make the change before, and discuss what needs to happen for the brain to actually change, and create the preparation for the action, followed by continued maintenance of that action so the change will stick this time.
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Hi all!
Besides Joshua and myself, does anyone else need a place to stay for July Intensive??? Please let me know as soon as possible so we could include you in our booking.
Thanks!
MJ
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Adriana,
I think this will be an amazing experience for both you and your client. I cannot wait to hear more about how this trip goes, for both you as a coach and the client. I think organizing the session and having clear intent and some planning will go along way for this trip. Very curious to hear if the intent stays the course or how it varies.
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Awesome job Ben! It sounds like this kind of client can definitely use the resources you are providing. Some times exercise isn’t always an option, or going for a walk, so giving your client that other option seems super helpful.
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Hey Josh,
I totally recommend reading the book that Daniel gave us, The Inner Matrix. It goes into it pretty deeply on pre-birth traumas and how it effects us without us even realizing. I had no idea about most of the information in the book and when we are in utero, whatever traumas and life experiences our mothers were going through, imprinted onto us. Being aware of that, helps to understand why we are the way we are.
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hi sandy!
great story sharing. to me, personally, perhaps this client may have felt like they were lacking something in their relationship, and venting to you after all that time, may have triggered a deeper emotion. you never know what the client is thinking, but you showed up for the client, actively listened, and the client seems to have resolved their own issue. it doesn’t seem like it was an unhealthy relationship to be in, maybe after being in a relationship for such a long time, the client just needed to step away in order to see things more clearly. this seems to me like a possible “the grass is greener” situation and you were an awesome coach who helped K through the difficult time.