Lilia Kapsali
Forum Replies Created
-
When I think of being connected to nature, the words that come to mind are alert, alive, curious, sensory, inspired and whole. When I go out in nature, I feel my senses come online, and the focus moves from the thoughts in my head to what’s happening around me; the birdsong, the temperature of the air, the feeling of sunshine and wind on my skin, the colors and scents of the plants and trees, the movement of squirrels, birds and insects. This helps me feel relaxed, at peace and in tune with my surroundings. In the Coyote’s Guide, this sensory awareness is described as part of our natural birthright which helped our ancestors survive, what modern science now calls part of the “eight intelligences” (p.28). To be nature connected is therefore to tap into ways of experiencing reality and of learning that are older and broader than the ones we typically use in urban settings and institutions today.
This sensory awareness also makes me feel very present, as my attention shifts from thoughts of past and future to what’s happening right now. Harper describes a quality of mindfulness when one is in the wilderness, which he calls “attentiveness” (p.189). He later goes on to talk about a feeling of timelessness, which I seldom experience on my daily walks unless I spend some time meditating in the company of trees, but which I did experience the first time I went to the Bornean rainforest as a volunteer research assistant at a remote location. I remember calling my brother from camp and excitedly trying to describe to him an altered, expanded sense of time I was experiencing. Nature connection brings one back to the present moment, away from fears of the future or memories of the past. This attentiveness can support coaching by enabling the client to let go of the anxieties and worries of everyday life which block one’s awareness of creative solutions, and to focus on listening to their inner voice, as well as to the insights which come when one’s nervous system is grounded. Becoming attentive and learning to listen deeply to nature allows for discernment with respect to one’s internal feelings as Miles describes (p.46), and as I experienced when practicing the 7 breaths exercise (I had to pay close attention to discern what I was feeling). This foundation of deep listening and quiet can then be built on to elicit client-oriented goals based on desirable modes of being (to create more of what inspires, what excites, what heals, what rejuvenates).
Connection with nature is also experienced as a personal, emotional bond, a relationship where I paradoxically feel seen and supported by the natural beings around me. When my mother died, I discovered that spending time in nature helped me, especially experiencing all the ways in which nature was very much alive and thriving despite my grief, existential crisis and stuckness. I also felt unjudged and yet not lonely among trees and other beings, because I felt they accepted me as I was, at a time when I struggled to put my experience into words for other humans. I ended up thinking of nature as Mother, a presence who could hold my pain and comfort me when I needed it most, which interestingly enough led me to re-examine my relationship with my actual mother and understand my feelings of complicated grief. This reminds me of the story Harper describes of the woman who needed to feel and express her fear about her identity loss as her children left home, and realizing through the experience that the earth under her feet was grounding her and supporting her (p.193). Nature connection enables us to stay grounded and accept the ebbs and flows of life, with all the positive and negative experiences and emotions it harbors (birth, death, loss, bliss, fear etc), because nature is all-encompassing and wild, without labeling anything as good or bad. In terms of coaching, traversing the outer wilderness can be seen as a symbol or metaphor of traversing the inner wilderness. Harper talks about taking responsibility for our projections (p.196), and nature can show us where those projections and uncomfortable feelings or “growing edges” are. By immersing ourselves and our clients in nature, we allow nature to show us what we need to work through and take responsibility for, through the symbols we are drawn to in the natural world, and furthermore through allowing us to experientially learn in a practical way (Miles, p.50). This can be greatly supportive of coaching, as nature provides the context and the metaphors through which transformation can be expressed and can take place.
Connected to the point above is the idea of self-expression and purpose. When I feel connected to nature, I feel connected to my purpose. After I started spending more mindful time in nature, I realised I came away from these moments with clarity and insights into my situation and circumstances I was struggling with. Questions I had started to find their answers, or at least hints of pathways to be explored that would lead me to answers. I started regarding my time spent in nature as time spent having a conversation with my Higher Self, and I often journal those inspirations before I forget them while I am out there. I now understand that other cultures, particularly indigenous, have known about nature connection being a communion with the Self or aspects of Spirit. Many of them consider plants and animals as teachers, and have elaborate ceremonies where they enter into a trance, hallucinogenic or shamanic relationship with them in order to retrieve knowledge and healing. In Borneo, among the Dayak people who are animistic, the forest deities were offered gifts at the entrance of the forest, to ensure the wanderers were protected. Respect for the natural world and a sense of reciprocity characterize nature-connected cultures, and I believe it is because there is an awareness and understanding that we are nature, and therefore who we are flows from that source of life from whence the more-than-human flows also (the anima mundi, which contains the living intelligence and archetypes of the world) ; to be nature-connected is therefore to be fully oneself and in proper relationship to everything else in the family of life. Describing the work of Kaplan and Talbot, Miles (p.46) says spending time in wilderness, people start feeling a sense of union with something very important and larger than them. Harper talks about an experience of wholeness, sacredness and giving as well as receiving, while also describing an experience of what we could say was satori (seeing into one’s true nature) while paddling in Canada (p.196-98). In the Coyote’s Guide the ultimate goal is called the “Gift Principle” (p.31), a resonance with the natural world that leads to our own self-expression and offering of our unique gifts to the community. My own nature connection has led me on this path of nature-connected coaching with EBI, and I look forward to seeing where it will take me next. Similarly, when a client’s goals become aligned with their true nature, through becoming connected to greater Nature, this can be a profound experience of meaning and fulfillment in the life of the client, but also by transforming the world around them which responds in return.
This relationship with nature can support my coaching by enabling my clients to come back to themselves, to tap into their inspiration and their true gifts. I feel relieved and inspired knowing I don’t have to have the answers, I just need to trust and enable the process – the direction and answers are “inside” the client as well as “out there” in nature, we just collaboratively have to bring our attention to them and try them/take steps toward them. A client’s self-discovery, which is one of the goals of coaching, as well as their inspiration and creativity (to come up with their own solutions and evolution) are therefore greatly enhanced by enabling, encouraging and supporting as a coach the client’s own connection with nature.
-
I loved how you described your approach to coaching.. “there has to be a willingness to shed what you think you know, to be present, to both give and take in ways that are sometimes wordless.” How beautiful and courageous too…thanks for reminding me to step into the unknown and trust the process.
-
Hi Simka, thanks for your really deep questions, which are stretching my brain cells a little bit right now haha.
It’s very hard for me to put it into words now, and I don’t have my Borneo journals here in the States with me, but I suppose a way to express it was that I lost the sense of time, or didn’t feel the pressure of it anymore. This partly had to do with the fact that I didn’t cook for myself in camp, and washing clothes by hand was a slow process that nevertheless did not matter too much since everyone was constantly dirty and stinky, so I think some of it was the relinquishing of daily life responsibilities. The other part was the removal from every day mundane reality for a matter of 7 weeks, and being thrown into a VERY different reality from the usual one, which I think shocked my brain a little bit into aliveness. Thirdly, this particular forest was very remote…I’m talking several hours spent driving away from the city in a car, then another couple in a four by four off-road and finally a motorcycle ride through mud and thicket to the outskirts of the forest. The remoteness, coupled with the complete absence of light pollution and distractions that usually regiment one’s day seems to put the mind into a slower state of being, though this is just an anecdotal guess. The reason why it is harder to do this with just daily walks is that I think it takes time to kick into that mode, and it is very difficult to do in a buzzing city with daily responsibilities and concerns.
Thanks for picking up on the reciprocity part. Without wanting to turn this into a philosophical treatise, I have an intuition that reciprocity is actually a central aspect of the functioning of nature, and not simply competition as we have been taught in biology in school. Gifting both resources and also one’s self is not merely something “nice” to do, but it is an expression of nature itself, which ensures ecosystems and relationships are maintained properly, and life goes on. I have recently come across Andreas Weber’s book Enlivenment, and to my great excitement he puts forth a view of evolution and life based on mutual exchange with the purpose of maintaining our shared life. I recommend it.
As for my own practices, I try to share both my knowledge and truth, as well as resources such as time, money and labour. Whatever I am responsible for, such as my family, dog, chickens and gardens I try to be very present for and give myself fully to, and I try not to hold back on sharing my creative gifts. In terms of coaching, I think gifting someone your complete attention and presence is a very powerful thing, and in my experience it is reciprocated with one sharing their full and deeper self. Same with the natural world. What about you, what do you think?
Yes, thanks for bringing up the dualism in Western philosophy and science. It really became more concrete after Rene Descartes and Francis Bacon, but from my understanding the separation between heaven and earth was a problem way back in the ancient times. Indigenous people throughout the world have practices specifically for uniting heaven and earth (matter/body and mind/consciousness), and from what I understand nature-connected coaching to be, this is a large part of what we are trying to re-discover and work with with our clients, because our most powerful insights and ways of being come when we bring those things together. Each person can find their own practices of doing this, but we are obviously all indebted to those still holding the wisdom to this day, who have lots to teach us.
-
“nature “intuitively” speaks to us in our own unique languages, forming that communication in our soul language that creates space for connection, healing, and becoming” – yes, Julie! This is something I feel strongly. Thanks for teasing this out for me, as it is a central way in which I experience nature, as I wrote to Greg, through metaphors.
-
Thanks Greg, the Mother aspect was definitely an opening for me to relate on a deeper level, and as you point out it could be a universal opening for people since we all have had a mother at some point, and feel how imperative a bond with a mother is in the life of many beings, particularly mammals. However, I realise that other metaphors are present to each of us depending on who we are and our stage in life, and I think that’s what is so exciting about nature connected coaching, that it offers a wealth of metaphors to be explored in a session, depending on what the client offers up and resonates with. Thanks for your comment 🙂
-
Hi Kendy,
I loved this phrase: “I didn’t know it then, but this instilled deep knowing in my soul that I would always be held by the natural world when the human world would inevitably fail me.” It sounds like you had to experience something different such as living in the city to circle back to what you have always known, which is the value of nature in your life. How awesome to have had those experiences camping with your family. Really love the Mary Oliver quotes too, I discovered her after moving to the USA and she really was nature-connected, the way she paid attention to the smallest things and the slow pace of her poems. Thanks for sharing!
-
Thanks for sharing some of your process! I love this phrase “sensory story”. I love how you use a mixture of meditation, story and metaphor to connect both with nature and your clients, and resonate with what you say about trusting and being open to seeing where the nature connection takes you both. Really happy to have met you too, and everyone else on this course! 🙂
-
Wow Simka! I so appreciate you bringing all this thought and heart to the discussion…thank you so much for sharing your story and weaving in all this wisdom…there is much I want to unpack and reflect on, but I feel to just simply honor the journey you take me on with your words.
I loved this phrase “a momentary lowering of my defenses against the unknown”…as well as your image of the thunderstorms, which create a strong opening towards the world for me too. You say you are not sure how your experience and connection can help support your coaching, but in the next sentence you write with such power and conviction: “So it seems to be more a question of holding space for that invitation, while weaving techniques and practices of connection, both somatic and external, into my coaching, as a way of empowering and guiding my clients towards wholeness.”
Lastly, I want to highlight three words you used: “humility, intentionality and reciprocity” – I’d love to hear more about them and their embodiment in your coaching, if you feel like sharing.
-
Yes Erin, that’s exactly it- you know it’s funny because it took me years to understand what you expressed so succinctly in your comment, and sometimes I wonder how much trouble and loneliness the presence of a guide would have saved me, by helping me frame the experience in such helpful terms…what a wonderful word “rebirth” is, right?! Thank you for seeing me, Erin 🙂
-
What a beautiful story, Erin! I found your imagery so evocative and striking, and I loved that moment of embodied connection with the water, and how you use your imagination so powerfully to enter the experience of the Other. I am wondering how, besides sharing, you incorporate this skill into your coaching, and do you think it is possible to facilitate or hold the space for a client to enter into this sort of nature connection?
-
Wow Julie, what a post! I really really enjoyed reading your musings around relationship – so much richness there. Your entry point was the body and the senses, which I really appreciated, and your personal relationship with yourself…you then spoke about personal relationships with family and friends, and then you expanded the ring to include Nature, concluding, as John Muir did, and many other people before and after him that “everything is hitched to everything else in the Universe”. I really loved how you placed mutual respect and care at the core, and thought this sentence was profound: “Amongst other things, without mutual respect authentic listening could not transpire, and without mutual care authentic coexistence could not transpire. Without either, a relationship erodes into pinball game where either party finds themselves bouncing against existence…alone.” I am interested in hearing more about how you will weave your philosophy into your coaching, and forefront that awareness of the dynamics of connection.
-
Hi Greg,
I loved when you wrote this: “You can be connected just by breathing its air or just watching a sunset. Its that calmness that arises within is what I call being connected with Nature.” – I could sense the peace and tranquility just from your words and pictured sitting on the beach with my feet in the sand…I enjoyed your reflection about guiding from that baseline of peace. I also really enjoyed reading about how you are going deeper into what guiding means, and how listening and feeling are central to it, and was excited to read you are finding the way to your own answers through nature and the course. Thanks for reminding me about finding people’s edges and trying to pull them to new orbits – beautifully said! I had that experience with my practice client today, that her own answers were leading her somewhere where she was reluctant to go – I could sense the resistance, and remembered that I don’t have the answers but can trust nature, so I suggested a wander….nature ended up giving her exactly what she needed, and I was grateful that all I had to do was to invite her to take that one step and hold space. Look forward to reading more about your experiences guiding as they unfold!