[Kairon Yeng]

Hi Elizabeth,

I think you are doing great because your awareness is simply open and you are attuned to changes. I feel you can loosen up and find a way to be more comfortable in your session so that the brilliance of you can emerge. I can understand how sometimes it may feel inconvenient and awkward when things aren’t going as expected or as intended but by making “here and now” as a goal for you and your client might deter you from the “here and now” because “here and now” suddenly become a concept or a forced direction you create in the severance. I’ll say keep reflecting to your client. As truthful, as kind and as generous as you can:). Eventually, I believe the “here and now” comes in.

I think it is worthwhile for clients to notice what is around them externally before internally as some may not easily find the connection to their internal environment. Also, finding a pause just to experience silence is a powerful way to drop into the “here and now”. And when you feel that the both of you are in the pocket of the present may be that is better time to ask questions like “what are you sensing on your skin” (a question which they can relate more easily and immediately). With that I can see how questions like those become a gateway into a deeper and more powerful questions such as the sacred questions.

I enjoy reading your post and it seems like you are progressing well. Go easy on yourself and take time to assimilate your experiences. Your deep intention to help others is very strong and they radiate through your expression every time I meet you. It also shows up in this post.

[Kairon Yeng]

Initial Post
Backstory

Client came to me with an issue about the conflict between socializing and expressing herself in a group dynamic and the need to have her own time and space. She was torn as she was yearning to be in community and within friends but afraid that her creative authentic expression will not be accepted by those around her. It was safer to be by herself working on her creativity and passion. On the other side, she sees the importance of spending time alone, honing in what is true to her and what is authentic for her. Despite that, she yearns to share this with people.

Establishing Coaching Relationship and Agreement

Instinctually or perhaps intuitively, I knew I had to provide a conducive environment for my client where there is no interruption, no feeling of being judged and a safe space so that the intimacy and contact within the framework of Gestalt can work out. As mentioned in the reading, Gestalt therapy is a phenomenological-existential therapy, it was important to me as a coach for both me and my client to be attuned to each other, so that some form of energetic synchronization can happen during the session. The feeling I get from this concept of “energetic synchronization” is the feeling of flow, awareness of subtlety and being in contact with one another without leaving nature out of the picture. There is a sense of interconnectedness in this work which I deeply appreciate because it teaches me humility – that not all the work is done by me but it requires me to facilitate the work. From this perspective, insight naturally arises. As we did this session indoors, there was seemingly very little nature intervention. Despite that, there was a sense of willingness from my client to take down the journey of severance together.
The flow that I felt was the moment when we were feeding off each other’s insight to a higher level of awareness and energy. This was done through deep questioning especially the use of sacred questions. In this moment, I realized my client was co-creating a solution with me and noticing the possibilities that she her alone might not discover. It appears that being in contact and asking sacred questions we are able to establish creativity, create new thought patterns by going into uncharted territory in the psyche (simply through the coaching principles of creating awareness) as well as feeling uplifted and empowered in the client. I noticed the power of severance in this session where it is exactly the unknown and the fear arise from it became the alchemical catalyst to fuel courage, empowerment and wisdom.
In the reading, there is one characteristics of the dialogue where it says “Dialogue is lived”. This shows that through stimulating the engagement to stay in contact and in presence with both the issue and the environment around us, we are bringing this abstract connection with the issue down to earth. In other words, my client was living the issue rather than having a fragment understanding of her issues. Nailing what the client really wants and what the deeper issue facilitating this call to adventure helps the client to live the issue, thus potentially bring in transformation and healing. Possibly, the issue is no longer a separate thing the client wants to solve but instead the issue becomes part of the client as if there was an embodiment of the issue. When this is done, the client not just experience empowerment to solve the issue but also received the healing of returning into wholeness. When one accepts their current condition, one no longer feels helpless about it.

Moving forward
The key concepts of Gestalt therapy will come in strong in my coaching. I believe that we are always in constant relationship whether we like it or not. Therefore, it is extremely important to notice and be aware what boundaries have I entered and exited from. Noticing and honoring subtleties that happen in our lives are going to bring in deeper wisdom rather than just reacting towards the external and internal stimuli. There is a need for a practice to deepen beyond just our sensory organ. When we live from a deep place within our core, we then start to live in accordance to our soul rather than the persona and conditionings we received in life.

[Kairon Yeng]

Hi Brad,

I appreciate what you said, “Foundational to nature connectedness and Gestalt guidance is staying present to that space between – the sacred atmosphere that allows for separateness and shared experience.” This is because sometimes when I am in it, whether a client or a coach, or simply just my daily life, I am never quite alone yet I am deeply interconnected. This brings me back to the F2F meeting when Michael told us to just feel the cold and connect with that.

I also enjoy reading your coaching process as I felt there is so much patience in meeting where your client is from moment to moment. I felt the gentleness in which instead of diving straight into the problem, you are opening an invitation for your client to meet the problem in the sacred space. I sense a powerful ritual happening there. I wonder what was your internal experience as a coach? Did anything shifted or clicked? What about your client?

[Kairon Yeng]

Hi Elizabeth,

Yes I make sure that my client is clear with the issue simply by spending enough time in the severance phase. I find reflecting consistently back to my client help them to put the pieces together. My experience in this session was that she knew the issue viscerally but wasn’t able to put it down into words and communicate them easily with others and with herself. I find that this tendency makes people jumble up all their problems into one and feel overwhelmed by it. Thus, the severance helped us to trickle down and filter the layers of issues on the surface to a deeper need that needed to be addressed. Now, the problem wasn’t just an abstract feeling but can be put down into words. And with the few simple words that brings the connection to the issue, I helped her own it by making her repeating the statement. I see that in this phase of the severance, I am at the Deeper Need. A moment of aliveness between her experience and mine was how I know I was there. Her eyes lit up, and her facial expression showed a moment of realization. Now, I felt that this issue is truly embodied and that she is ready to engage it.