[Kairon Yeng]

Initial Post

Brain and Change 1 brings a whole new perspective towards the process that I will be having with my clients. One thing I wrote in my reflection is:

To facilitate change is first and foremost facilitating awareness. By having awareness to our current mode of actions that is influenced by our beliefs which are deeply rooted in the stories we tell ourselves, we can understand what needs to be done to bring a new pathway. By bringing awareness we demystify the stories that we believed to be true and have the potential to recreate a new narrative to provide fundamental change that is in alignment to the soul centric intention. We redirect our lives by redirecting our attention and awareness to the things that matter. Change has to come through the unconscious part of ourselves as it controls 90% of our motivation.

I sometimes see that the unconscious part of ourselves as the embodied part of ourselves. The unconscious is rooted in the many cells of our bodies. I found this correlation when I was reading Arnold Mindell’s concept of the dream body where images of the dreams have relationships with the body ailments. Dreams are messages communicated by our unconscious. It may seem inevitable when the unconscious is controlling 90% of our actions and motivations. However, a lot of programming can be done through the conscious mind and installed into the unconscious through the process of embodiment. This reminds me of developing a new path deep enough that is overtakes the old programming.

I can see how my clients will come to me troubled with their old patterns that stops them from getting where they want to get in life. Having to educate them about the brain can first and foremost alleviate them from beating themselves up and create self-judgment and shaming on their process of growth and transformation. Also, by offering the brain perspective, they can understand that the impossible is definitely possible to create. By reflecting the stages of change and the process of change itself, the clients can track where they are and carry necessary creative actions to create the change they want to see.

In short, Brain and Change 1 offers two very powerful tools of transformation. One of them is demystify the old stories so that the old destructive habitual pattern does not continue to be deepened and be applied. Usually the old patterns used to serve us once. By noticing that it does not serve us anymore we can then redirect our energy towards something more productive. Another one is to create new intentional mode of action to carve a new pathway of change. This pathway can sometimes be a substitute for the old pattern but nevertheless can be an independent pathway that serves a completely different purpose form the old programming. In correlation to Partswork, this is where the Sacred Flip of a part can happen.

[Kairon Yeng]

Summary Post

I started seeing Partswork everywhere. It is happening in my head all the time. Sometimes I wish I could tune it out. Especially in my recent visit to LA, being in the city makes the Parts more rowdy and alive. I can see how advertisements and other stimulations only go as far as stimulating the parts and doesn’t reach the soul. This makes one feel incredibly lonely in a large city. Despite that, this loneliness doesn’t stem from the absence of loving people but a form of malnourishment for the soul. I guess this is what feeling disconnected means. Parts that are disconnected from the soul runs amok and started controlling the soul. On that note, I will always remember, “work the parts or the parts will work you.”

[Kairon Yeng]

Initial Post

I think Partswork is the best tool in the severance phase. It brings an immediate awareness of what we are working with. Especially when we enact or role play the parts, we draw ourselves away form identifying with those voices. In fact, the voices are now recognized thus being empowered to be take ownership and responsibilities. With that, I think it is very healing when we understand that we need not to shame certain voices or inflate certain voices just because they align to the conditioning standards that is usually societal or familial. When there is awareness of the dynamics, we can start bridging the polarities of the parts. I personally think parts exist because of the need for differentiation and for individuation. And in that process, each parts start to carry different stories that might be polarizing or be supporting each other. This is why I usually find that in our human experience we sometimes have difficulty making decisions. The process of Partswork is actually to allow space for different voices to emerge and resolve any conflict so that the voice of the Soul is remembered and can take on the leadership role. I feel that the voice of the Soul is essential to get any work done. And this is the core purpose of severance. When the client starts to be aware of the voice of the Soul that is intrinsically different from the voices of the parts swimming in severance, we start diving into a deeper process. And I believe we experience that when the deeper need is being named.
There is a shift in the baseline.

I think Partswork can be a challenging aspect to be incorporated in the earlier sessions with clients who have no idea what is coaching and guiding is all about. I remembered the first time I was introduced to Partswork and I felt awkward role playing, naming the parts and speaking from the parts. I can sense how clients can potentially be overly serious in this process and not be open for experimentation. This makes me understand that there are probably many different ways to go around Partswork. Having awareness of some sort of a mini-mandala as a rough picture in the severance process might help me as a coach to identify my clients’ issue, wants and needs quicker. Perhaps Partswork might be the most powerful reflection tool there is for coaches.

Because I did not see any practice client in this process. I would like to recall my experiences that we practiced during face to face. I see a powerful value in actually objectifying the parts – that means finding large tangible objects to represent the parts that are actually alive in the process. I found interesting that the mandala could be as small as having a couple pine cones and the mandala could be as big as the whole land of Starhouse! The opportunity to work with Megan actually had us going to landmark to landmark as the parts present. I feel that on that scale, there is more somatic processes going on and the representation of each landmarks offer became more vivid as we dive deeper into the stories. I had a powerful experience which nature comes to live in our session and it was very transformative. Thank you Megan for that powerful experience that you were willing to put yourself into.

To sum it up, Play. “Be a child and be curious” was something that I had to remind myself of when it comes to Partswork. I remembered as a child I had to name my toys and speak through the voices of the different characters of my toys. I think this can be a valuable experience for our clients who feel lost in their head and thinking mind. Maybe we can rekindle parts of their childhood that were lost and reawaken the wisdom in the innocence.

[Kairon Yeng]

Summary Post

I think as a coach it is very fulfilling to see how client changes through a period of time, how they pull through the evolutionary path of their brilliant Self and staying in the ongoing process of transformation. Long term coaching offers a very creative opportunity for the both of us on a collaborative journey to create the vision that the client want to see happen. Knowing this, I would want a coach that could keep me accountable through a specific process. And knowing that as a coach I could provide such support, it brings a sense of fulfillment to the practice itself.

Because long-term coaching model is a model, it should serve as a map and not be confused as the terrain itself. I felt that as human beings we are very caught up in the planning and visioning phase of anything and get stuck at the action phase. I hypothesize that it may be because of the fear of making mistakes, meeting the imperfections, and not following the “plan”. And because of that, there is the other extreme of having no groundwork or blueprint and just taking steps spontaneously. Either way, as a coach I would have to recognize those tendencies in my client and alter the model through countless of revision.

I am excited to be working with a client in a long-term coaching model. Now the persisting question leaving me is – how I can bring in client to do that work with me?

[Kairon Yeng]

Initial Post

Background Information

This was my first session with a new practice client and it is by far the most challenging session that I ever had. She is very attuned to the subtle energies around her and has deep knowing about what her own soul’s voice. I experienced her as a big vast ocean and has difficulty landing as a droplet of water in the ocean. I knew from the beginning that I should not push any of my own agenda unto my client and was rafting through waves of the unknown. Coming from the perspective of the long-term coaching module, I knew that I need not rush my process with my client and took a lot of my time reflecting and clarifying the issues at hand. At the same time, I knew that did not have to proof anything of myself as a competent coach or a guide because it was all bout showing up totality and unconditionally for the process that is unfolding for my client. Sometimes it is frustrating to meet a process that does not seem to be able to go forward but I acknowledge that how my client moves forward is not up to me.

Into the session
I took my time establishing a safe space with my client and establishing coaching agreement. I had to explain quite a bit about what coaching is and how the kind of coaching that I was doing is any different from any other coaching program. I sensed a fear that my client is having for needing to be a certain way just because she is being “coached”. One of the thing she mentioned was, “I don’t know how to be or should be around things like this.” Not only that she has problem finding herself relating to a coach-client relationship but also in other relationships in general. I established trust and intimacy by saying that we are not here to have answers but to be in process. Also, I told her that she is in control of the session – whether it is stop or go is completely up to her.

We spent a long time swimming in discovering “What is the issue?” In the grand scale of things she felt that she doesn’t really have an issue of how she could guide her life but she was looking more of how she can actually began taking real action steps with discipline and commitments so that her vision of her desired life can come to fruition. She saw so many possibilities of her life that it overwhelms her and consequently instead of empowering her to step into the world she withdraws.

Trusting my intuition, all I did was reflecting her own wisdom as I saw that interestingly she would ask these questions of “How”s and answered them herself. I saw that the real issue wasn’t really how she could be more in the world and take necessary steps to do what she needs but actually to trust in her actions. Something feels disjointed to me and that session draws on the intention of helping my client to be connected.

Even though it feels like nothing was going much on the outside of this session, so much tracking of Gestalt, Partswork and Long-term Coaching models were going on. At some point my client thought it was futile to change and I found the opportunity to bring up things I learned from Brain and Change about the Grand Canyon metaphor.

Integrating the Process
I saw the potential for us to work together and build a coach-client relationship. However, the immediacy and urgency to bring change into her life was not strong enough for us to take into another session. One thing that I asked towards the end of the session was if she got anything out of the session. She found that it was extremely rewarding to know that she had what she needed all along. I personally found her to be someone who is self-sufficient in taking her life and what lacking was trust and support for her to believe in herself.

If I were to design a Long Term Coaching model,
I will spend the first month identifying the issue, focusing on connectedness to the soul voice and eventually build up enough energy so that an obvious deeper need can emerge. I will meet once to twice a week alternating between meeting indoors for more integrative work and going out into the land to have conscious experimentation with the deeper need.

I hope to have a powerful deeper need to emerge by the first 6 weeks of working together and from the 2nd month and to the 3rd month onwards, I would have us create rituals and ceremonies that she can do for herself to integrate her visions into this world. I see that we should be doing more body-centered exercise at this point. I believe movement based rituals can bring forth a deeper connection between the soul and the body. We would meet once a week at this point allowing for options for indoor or outdoor work depending on my clients’ need. I would also offer some experiences I have with movement based exercises.

The following months I would have her integrate herself into a community that could reflect her wisdom and creative potential again and again. One of the thing that she is yearning for was to have unconditional support and structure hat could allow her artistic creation to flourish. By having a clear relationship with her own body, mind and soul at this point, the community would put her at a test whether the internal and individual work is enough for there to flourish in the community. I see the potential for us to go back and forth between doing individual projects and communal projects.

At some point, I would like to celebrate her achievements no matter what her progress is. Being mirrored by members of her community of her achievement and progress is necessary for her to deepen the embodiment of her new self.

With Gratitude to EBI,
Kairon

[Kairon Yeng]

Summary post

Entelechy is the word that came up for me. It means, “the fullest realized essence of a thing.” It is similar to the metaphor of the acorn becoming the oak tree or a caterpillar becoming a butterfly. These parts are within us and they can be a powerful blueprint for us to become the human being that we had envisioned and had a vague sense that we can become. It comes through us in the form of dreams, in our writing, in our painting, in the way we talk, the way we see “what could be”. I think it is so powerful to have this gift of awareness because that is what it takes for us to bring forth our entelechy. It is creating the right conditions for ourselves to flourish and Partswork definitely shine the light on noticing what is in our own way, and looking our for parts that is assisting us to create our soul-enriching life. But to do that, the soul needs to be in charge and do a lot of micro-management and lead the parts into success.

In a way our parts are our gifts and talents but they can be our obstacles. I think that is the beauty of it because we need exactly both for evolution, growth and transformation.

The Partswork process is actually giving space and lengthening the in-betweens that happen in a split second. The interaction of Parts can happen in a fraction of a second in our daily life and those are the moments when we either breakthrough or breakdown. What we can offer as coaches and empowered leaders is that we are sensitive enough to these dynamics and that takes a lot of practice in our own time. In some way, it is an awareness practice. When we are aware, space and time expands and we can began to dissect those voices that simply weaves through each other in any given thought.

I took a lot out of this module and as time pass by, my relationship with slowly matures. The maturity puts me in the place of empowerment because I know at every given moment I have a choice and requires be to own that choice and its repercussions. That being it said, the result might be fruitful and might be damaging. Nevertheless, it teachers me that every given moment I could always learn and the chance is always there. Spirit will always be there holding us accountable to our actions and the choices that we make as Soul.

Kairon

[Kairon Yeng]

Initial Post

Since this module is focused on our own relationship with Partswork. I have decided to post about my experience with my mandala and realization that had been culminating over the last couple of weeks since I encountered it.

I think Partswork module had gave me the soul’s vocabulary of how different parts of the soul communicates with one another. I understand how the center of the mandala is usually named as the “Soul” which is the final decision maker of all the negotiations that had been going on between the parts. However, as I continue to contemplate my own mandala, I started seeing the whole mandala as the Soul. This view suddenly beats the point of having Partswork because if all parts are Soul, then all voices are Soul. And if that is so, we are back to square one in which we could not distinguish and negotiate the voices between the parts. At the same time, if the parts are not the make-up of the soul, then what is? Also, if we name the soul as the center, aren’t we just forming another egocentric focus in our psyche as we did with our Self/ego?

Therefore, instead of “either-or”, the Soul is the center of the mandala as well as the whole mandala itself. This means the parts doesn’t really exists but they play a certain persona of the Soul and it is very useful for me to notice and distinguish which parts have louder voice and which parts are more intimidated to show itself. This also means the whole mandala is fluid. Two or more several parts can come out and about speaking for the same voice and at the same time two or more several parts can go into hiding together. In other definition, the Soul can be defined as wisdom and clarity of the sum of all parts. It helps to bring mediation between the polarization that can occur between parts. Through the dialogue that occurs here, I started to understand the different needs that is present for my soul to feel wholesome.

One good example that I would love to share is my “inner adult” which is a group that compromises of many different parts of my mandala who is always in conflict with my “inner child” which is also another group that compromises of many different parts of my mandala. Interestingly enough in my study of Depth Psychology and Astrology, the inner adult portrays a strong archetype of the Senex, a Saturnine figure which is usually is called as the wise old man in many myths and depth psychology. And the opposite the “inner child” is the Puer aeternus, a Mercurial archetype that could be called as the “eternal boy”. In attaining a sense of wholeness, my soul which compromises of both archetypes as well as individuated center needs to reconcile the wounding that occurred between the battle of these two parts. They both have their own vocabulary about what they need. For example, the Senex asks for serious Shadow work so that I have the capacity to carry the burden of healing an intergenerational trauma of my family lineage to fulfil a certain destiny and purpose. And since this part has more power and has a louder voice, the voice of the Puer Aeternus is casted away and went into exile. When a part of us goes into exile, there is wounding and resentment. At the same time, this seemingly casted away voice comes at us in a stronger nature in an unconscious way. I learn this is so by realizing how much everything I was choosing in life, whether it was relationship, work, career, school and personal, was based on my Puer Aeternus’s passion, which is childlike and immature. I also see this in my dreams where I get plenty of dreams about being in middle school and high school, my adults friends who became children and childhood memories.

Therefore, there is a lot of work to be done to heal the wounding Puer Aeternus. At the same time, in doing so, I cannot neglect the needs of the Senex. I have not able to bring these two parts into integration and harmony at the moment. But at least through laying the mandala out with some contemplation, a pattern of the psyche became clearer. And with clarity, we can start working on them.

I look forward for Partswork II because I find how valuable in coaching it is if my clients create their own mandala and have a visual representation of the dialogue going on in their psyche.

Thank you, EBI.

[Kairon Yeng]

Summary Post

One thing that brought to my attention in this module is the constant unfoldment and revelation both in our personal growth and our coaching skills. Interestingly, how we grow personally is how we grow as coaches and this relationship translates to how we work with our clients. I cannot stop noticing the mirror relationship that I share with my clients. The problems they brought forward always have some form of familiarity which I could relate in my own life. Maybe this is some form of projection but I personally see how deeply interconnected we are. The danger here is that we could identify with our clients’ stories that we could go into confluence but at the same time, this personal connection allows us to stay in contact with our clients’ issues. I believe this is because we developed a certain amount of sensitivity as we keep interacting with nature and the nature of our soul which is interconnected to the collective unconscious and the unending mysteries of the spirit of Life. Nowadays, I tend to relate that all my personal soul-work wasn’t just for my own healing but also for my clients.

And this is what I feel Gestalt is all about. It is the ability to set up a presence that take into account all subtle interconnectedness in the present moment. In the presence, we allow what needs to unfold to unfold. There is some nature of effortlessness, but to be able to stay in rhythm and on beat with the presence it takes tremendous effort to practice and fine-tuned sensitivity to ride its wave. Time and space can never stay static. This is why I appreciate whenever my clients talk about the past, it is still happening at the present moment. And in bringing them back to the now, I bring them back to their heart space, which I believe is the essence of Gestalt. I look forward to learn more about this work as I continue to grow personally and as a coach.

I had a powerful revelation reading everyone’s post. It is not that I found an answer or had an intellectual eureka. However, it is more of a sense in which pieces started to line up. There is a more subtle transformation that is happening in my EBI journey, more than i could make sense out of it. Again and again, I am at awe of the simplicity this work presented, yet at the same time it is difficult to be simple.

Much Gratitude
Kairon

[Kairon Yeng]

“How different a client’s experience might be if, early on, I guided then into discovering that they have every part they need, right now, to become whatever it is they are working toward.”

This is so essential to the coaching process! I feel like this is the little goal I have as a coach and as a human being. If I could help my client realize this in the session then they have something to take away in our work together. I feel you are absolutely on point with how as humans we want to fix things. There is value in fixing but truly, some things just cannot be fixed but can be transformed. I feel that nature has this recycling process that nothing will ever be wasted. The difference is that with a conscious innovative human intervention the recycling process can be carried at a quicker pace. Therefore, like coaching, it is an intervention on how we can reawaken the parts that is destructive to be recycled into a constructive creative purpose. This makes our coaching a sacred facilitation of renewal and transformation.

Also, I like how renaming the parts to have neutral connotation can be an empowering process. This allows full acceptance of all of the parts that they are all present to help and assist the soul to fulfill its vision.

[Kairon Yeng]

I think that is brilliant that you incorporated the Four directions in the Partswork. Sometimes Partswork can be so broad that it overwhelms the clients and having a model helps them to create a mandala that they could make sense of. Also by doing that, we could actually dive into some nature connectedness exercises, finding sensations in the body to create the map that is present. By doing so, clients don’t get to be in their head very much and with that their parts might be more ready to show themselves. Also potentially, this can be a powerful diagnostic tool of which parts are in which directions. It might help us to identify where each parts are in their developmental cycle. Thank you for sharing!

[Kairon Yeng]

Hi!

One thing that got me thinking reading your post is, “How can I help my clients get some gratification out of each session and still honoring the natural process of growth, change and eventually achieving their goals? Also, because of how so much of moving towards a certain goal has to do with facing the unknown, how much can we as guides and coaches help our clients to understand and learn the value of processes that might take a huge time to get it down. We live in a culture of instant gratification where they want to see fast result and not necessarily have the patience to do the gruesome slow work to get where they need to get themselves to in order for them to reach their goal. This makes me thinks a lot about the purpose of Life Coaches in the society and how I could market and present myself in the way that it is promising yet not misleading.

Also, I appreciate “Opening the relationship, mapping the journey, celebrating success and completion are all essential to creating a powerful container”. I think that is one powerful thing we can offer our clients no matter what their immediate and future goals are. Maybe the most important thing in a Coach-client relationship is to bring that support of growth and transformation rather than mechanistic reaching the actual goal.

-Kairon

[Kairon Yeng]

Hi Elizabeth,

It is so refreshing to read your comment and your reflection seems timely with the metaphor I came out with. I love it when that happens because your direct experience just added substance to my understanding of my own process and my post.

I think if I were to go into long-term coaching with this person I would co-create rituals and ceremonies rounding tapping into that deeper need. It is because I sensed that it is there and she probably knew about it without knowing it is called the “deeper need” or the “soul voice”. I think I would take some time to help her to identify when her “soul” is speaking and when her “parts” were speaking. From there the process of identifying the deeper the need would be simpler. I would allocate a lot of time around nature with this specific client because it is where feels most at home and most connected at. Being in nature, there would be a lot of chance to experiment – making mandala-based arts using nature ingredients, immersing self in water, talking to the tree are just many of the few examples!

I like what you said about “resting in the eddies”. To me that is crucial for building up some potential energy so that the kinetic energy can follow through. It is exactly the same feeling of riding up the roller coaster building up towards the highest peak. Personally, I feel more fear and had this feeling of wanting to burst out of my seat during those moments rather than the actual free-fall. And in coaching-guiding terms, swimming in severance is exactly that. I think my session with my client would be more fruitful if I could keep showing her the “potential” and contrast that with where she is at the present moment. Eventually I believe we will sink in to the deeper need because the want is so strong that the process of “closing the gap” naturally sets in out of an intrinsic wisdom of the soul.

Thank you for your reflection again 🙂

[Kairon Yeng]

“With this client, and myself and people I know, I see that shame often arises when we struggle with change or don’t like parts of ourselves. Parts is such a powerful tool for overcoming the shame when we accept, honor and repurpose parts that get in the way and strengthen the muscles of parts that serve.”

I think this is where parts come to light. I remember the most two powerful incorporation tools that can add to Partswork is definitely the (1)Presencing (empowering) the part of us that serves our goal the (2)Releasing (letting go) the old habitual patterns that shows up in our life destructively. (1) has to do with embodying the part and actually giving in energy and permission to flourish and (2) has to do with looking at that part that is destructive, giving it shape, form and color, diminishing it and let it go through the bottom of our feet. I find both exercise has this quality of honoring our parts and that eventually lets in the repurposing to naturally unfold.

I also found that sometimes parts just want to exist like us human beings want to exist. Unless we give unconditional love and attention to them, they will find many innovative ways to gain that attention whether it is creatively or destructively. They are definitely like adolescence that needs mentoring for their creative potential to flourish!

Thank you for your post! 🙂

[Kairon Yeng]

Visiting this post 6 months later puts me at a different perspective after I had done Partswork 2 and Long-term Coaching. I found that Partswork helps us to name and acknowledge the different voices within us. I do not think the accuracy of naming each parts and discriminatingly knowing their voices through a visual is the point of Partswork. However, I am starting to see that it is process-oriented exercise. It is the embodiment of the thought processes that goes through in our head. This is crucial because not only that it gives us clarity to different characteristics of ourselves but also the actual process of naming and role-playing those parts allow (1) the parts to be owned, recognized and be acknowledged and (2) the Soul to receive its community of parts back home. I experienced it as a little bit as a process of soul retrieval. More importantly, as a guide, Partswork actually encourages my clients to come into unconditional acceptance of those parts that they could not change and in fact bring forth a potential for those parts to have a redefinition of roles. The more I dive into Partwork for myself and facilitate Partswork for people the more I could see the truth in, “Work your parts or your parts work you”.

There is also a delicate manner of journeying towards the soul. We need to journey into the soul through our parts. If not we would not hear the distinct but subtle voices of the soul against the parts. Especially when we are extremely unconscious of our parts, it is extremely difficult to hear which voice comes from the soul and which voice comes from parts. Therefore, nature connectedness is actually coming to a place of what we already knew. By going out into nature and traversing the outer landscape as our inner landscape, there is a sense of going to somewhere which is a nowhere that actually leads to home – the place of our soul that is interconnected to spirit.

[Kairon Yeng]

Hi Megan,

I value the co-creation aspect that you brought up. To me, it is vital in simply relating from person to person and more so, in this work. I kinda assumed everyone is ready to co-create and has the ability to co-create. Also, personally, I thought it is important to get personal with my client, offering care and support, developing trust and intimacy. So i do put myself out there by offering my willingness to be vulnerable. This is because I cannot do anything for anyone if i don’t do so. In the past, I found myself often entangled in people’s problems and ended up in confluence. So for the last couple of years I had been swinging from a place of detachment and personalizing. I am still struggling to find balance and learning how to be personal yet not be in confluence.

In this situation, my client was just ready to work with me – there is excitement and enthusiasm. I think that is one of the big signs that she is ready to co-create an outcome that is going to serve her highest intention. In terms of clients, I had not met enough people to notice this aspect in people. But I believe we attract clients that holds the same values as we do. If I value this aspect of co-creation strongly and making it a practice in life, I am bound to attract clients who would feel the same and want to do the same.

Thank you for your time to comment… I deeply appreciate every words reflected here.