Hannah Grajko
Forum Replies Created
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-What steps did you take to establish the Coaching Relationship and focus the session?
This client whom I met with last week has been someone I’ve been relatively close to for the past year and a half. She is someone I’ve lived with, we share similar social circles, and we’ve both seen one another in a lot of life shit! As a healer and body-worker, she is no stranger to the many avenues of growth and development available to us (especially here in Boulder), and so making the transition from friend to coach/client was pretty seamless, and easier than I imagine it would have been with some of my other friends. She is also already very familiar with parts-work, although I suspect a slightly different version than the one we’ve been riffing off of, so that made setting the intention and container for the session a bit easier. Right off the bat, she had her “material” impeding the change she’s looking for right up near the surface, so we jumped right in pretty quickly. I found it massively helpful to maintain the focus of the session by coming back to the fundamental need she voiced in the beginning, because she had a ton of emotion around what we were diving into, and it could’ve easily gone off into a bunch of directions.
-How did or could Gestalt fit into your nature-connected coaching session?
It felt like Gestalt was the foundation of this coaching session. She was showing up with her whole self (or what seemed like it to me), and I really felt like I was doing the same for most of our time together. The flow of the session really took shape around what was coming up for her in the moment, but also within the framework of what she wanted to accomplish with the session.
-How did or could you collaborate with Nature and combine Gestalt and Coaching principles?
I’m aware that this happened a bunch in subtle ways over the session, but an area where it was most prevalent in my memory was at the end of the session when she was very emotionally aroused, and I wanted to bring her to a more grounded place so that we could touch on some integration before she had to go. To end the threshold, I guided her through a somatic grounding exercise while she laid on the grass with her limbs sprawled out on the ground. With each area of the body, I reminded her how the Earth was holding her, and to feel the elements in contact in her awareness. This resulted in her being way more prepared to go out in the rest of the day because she “felt the support” from the ground, as she said. It that instance, the Earth gave her way more as a guide than I ever could.
-What challenges did you face? How did you adapt?
There were a few moments where I was a little startled by how big the emotions were that came up for her. I worried that I would say the wrong thing or make the pain worse for her by going farther into it, or even just staying with it. I was then reminded of something Derek said at the intensive about how we can’t fuck our clients up, and it’s important to touch on these messy things with healing is to happen. Thinking back on this, and the commitment I’ve made to give my clients the highest regard I can in their ability to handle what comes up, I was able to sit with the discomfort I was feeling (which quickly dissipated), and hold space in reverent silence for her process. It felt really good.
-What flowed and how did you build off it?
As these big themes of trauma around her personal pain and division between masculine and feminine forces within her (and within her life) came up, I saw a lot of opportunities for her to see her parts from so many angles. I continued to ask her permission as I invited her to take on the roles of different parts that were very much a part of this tension within her. She continued to be brave enough to go into parts that she really wanted to avoid, ones that seemed deeply rooted in her trauma of the past, and the energy and peak experience grew from that. It felt natural that the emotions got bigger and bigger as we went deeper into these darker, “yuckier” parts.
-What did you learn about yourself and nature-connected coaching?
When I have such a big, intense, cathartic session like this with someone, I’m just reminded about how right this work feels for me. I also learned that there is a pretty big part of me that is sometimes resistant to being okay with or holding space for jumbo emotions that arise in my clients, mostly because I can start to make it about myself, and wonder how I can make their experience better or have more healing. But I realized (and I suspect that this will be a long-term tension within me) that it is their journey, their pain, and their work to resolve it. When I make it about me, that’s when healing could potentially be thwarted. It’s not about me! What a relief to realize.
-How do the readings relate and interact with the face to face material and your work with your practice clients?
Just generally speaking, I think back on Jenny Rogers a lot when my own stuff comes up in the container of the session. She is so good at teaching strategies for non-attachment with clients, and is clearly very good at healthy boundaries, while also being super present within the gestalt. I can’t think of specific examples at the moment, but her book has had a significant impact on my coaching presence. She is my #coachgoals.
-What ideas do you have for how you might use Gestalt and nature-connected coaching in the future with your client?
I’m feeling very drawn to dive deeper into Gestalt trainings because the lessons I learned at the intensive were so impactful. I want to continue to bring myself more into sessions (without making it about me), as I see how much this can give my clients permission to fully embody what they are feeling and what is coming up for them. It’s just such a damn beautiful process, and I want to do whatever I can to bring more of it into my coaching practice.
-How does Gestalt Therapy effect or enhance your Coaching Presence and approach?
I feel like I’ve answered this question through the previous questions 🙂
-How does Nature-Connected Practices, and Gestalt Therapy interface?
It feels like that question comes down to being present with and open to all the things that are happening in the present moment. With the former, we are looking at where we and nature interact (and ideally seeing that there really is no boundary), and with the latter, it feels like the same case but with our emotions and sensory perceptions. It makes so much sense that they are intrinsically linked.
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Does anyone have any objections to Tuesday for dinner? I’ll bring it up on Monday in the group for those of us who aren’t seeing this message by then 🙂
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Thanks for the replies, y’all! I was curious about that too, Mandy. Looks like Sunday won’t be ideal for a couple people, and myself and a few others will not be available Friday. Does anyone have conflicts during the week? I’m thinking that dinner in Boulder would probably make the most sense, cause all of us have to go through there on our way out each night anyway, but I’m open to other ideas! We could always try for Fresh Thymes again since it wasn’t feasible last time (or any other place!)…Lemme know 🙂
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Hey all! I hope everyone is doing well and feeling ready for our intensive coming up! I know I am; cannot WAIT to get back on that land and get into the nitty gritty of partwork and Gestalt 🙂 Safe travels to everyone coming into Boulder!
P.S. I’d love to plan another meal out for the group if people are interested! I figured that since this intensive is much shorter than our first one, planting the seed now would be a good idea. Any suggestions for best evenings are most welcome <3
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As many of you have echoed in your posts, this module came at the ideal time in honing the client vision while having a foot in the “practical” world of business and finances. Additionally, to what most people said, we all have something individual and unique to offer the world with our coaching and that is so damn cool that we all get to work out what that means within a similar framework! Personally, this module has shown me that it’s truly the time to zero in on the business specifics that are going to make this dream sustainable and long-lasting. I think that I find difficulty in being able to access my dreamy, creative mind, while also accessing my street-smarts parts. What came to the forefront for me in this foundation was that it is so important for me personally to use the strengths of both states of mind in equilibrium.
Looking back at my post now, I don’t feel much closer to being totally confident in the image of my ideal client, but I do feel confident there’s only one way to find out if that’s where I’m being called to use my gifts! I’m definitely walking away from this with both a sense of trusting the trial and error nature of the process, while at the same time, having a deep focus on at least getting a trial off the ground.
Thank you all for working on this so earnestly, and for sharing the process with the rest of us 🙂
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I want to start off by saying that I am so grateful for these questions to be coming up at this time; it feels really appropriate to where I am in the process right now, and seemingly where much of the cohort is in their individual processes! It also feels so good to be able to hash this out with one another, even given that many of us don’t have super solid images of what our ideal client looks like.
-When you think about coaching and/or guiding others, who comes to mind? What is the population that most excites you, and why?
When I think about guiding others, what comes to mind is mainly working with people on issues and time periods of life that I’ve been through, and the struggles and questions that accompany them. I don’t know entirely what this looks like yet, but as I said on the call, I’m imagining working with perhaps mainly women (but would definitely not be opposed to working with men) who are going through the transitional phase of coming into their own purposes. From my own life, and what I observe in the lives of many other people, this distancing from identifying with what the “tribe” tells you is the way to live, toward the direction of individual purpose-driven decision making comes in early 20’s as one is perhaps about to graduate college, start a new career, or begin establishing one’s future legacy. This time is often fraught with confusion, indecision, and listlessness. I’m currently drawn to working with women because I have been through times where I don’t trust my own voice as a woman, and felt pressure to rely on the voices of others around me as my identifiers. Obviously, this happens to men in our culture as well, but I see a particular trend of women giving up their power for many different reasons pretty regularly.
Although this is also happening to all generations, I see millennials coming into the age of leadership differently than other generations have. Generally speaking, we have such a passion to change paradigms that have ruled society and the planet for a long time, but concurrently, a lack of direction and tools to make our visions a reality (new paradigms probably means new and different tools). We have more information and resources available to us than any other generations before, but have higher anxiety and depression rates than any generation before us (and I could argue that the former may have a major part in causing the latter). We have seemingly created a negative feedback loop – with the help of technology – where the disconnection from our souls and purpose is pushed farther back into the corners of our psyche by frivolous distractions of surface level importance. Recent research shows that millennial women are more at risk than anyone else to suffer from anxiety and depression, and my heart aches knowing that these women are being driven away from their power, purpose and peace by these tragic conditions. However, I have endless hope for the strength and perseverance of women in this generation (and all generations), and I feel totally driven to helping them step into their true soul’s purpose in any way I can.
-How do you imagine working with them? What would be the common categories of goals that you foresee them working towards? How would you like to collaborate with nature to support their awareness and success?
I imagine working with millennial women, mostly one-on-one, in a way that places emphasis and importance on the awareness-based exercises we’ve been learning at EBI (and hopefully many more in addition). I see a lot of the issues around painful relationship dynamics and lack of fulfilling purpose in work life come from a fundamental disconnection from what is true and right for us as individuals. I want to work with women to reconnect with those deep places of wisdom within them in order to learn how to better navigate these potential pitfalls and move toward health and responsibility. Getting cozied up to the icky crap that comes out in our romantic relationships, friendships, and ponderings about how we can possibly change the world for the better are the perfectly learning opportunities for where I want to help women grow (as well as where I want myself to grow, too!); if these areas weren’t sprinkled with pain and difficulty, it probably would mean that there aren’t significant gems of wisdom held there, just under the surface. I want to work with women to face these difficulties in a way that recognizes that they are there for a reason, and they should be delved into and not shied away from. In this interest, I want to create a safe container for women to come to that motivated and proactive place, and then help them create strategies for change.
In terms of concrete practices, I don’t know entirely what that will look like yet. I know, however, that I want my approach to have a significant emphasis on meditation practices in nature. I’m imagining medicine walks to be an integral part of the work. In possible group settings, I’m imagining women’s circle retreats out in the wild – women connecting to their inner wilds out in the woods! I see some potential for mother-daughter connection-building retreats/seminars in that same vein as well. From what I’ve seen other coaches out there doing, there seems to be a lot of options for millennials, young women, and nature coaching, but not a lot of the blending of the three. Susie built a business that is very much along the lines of what I’m envisioning (and is working out of Colorado, too!). She and the women that work for the Women’s Empowerment Workshop all seem like total badasses, and I’d love to base some of where my vision is moving toward their framework. They offer a LOT of different guiding and coaching options, which I don’t think I would be able to work toward entirely for a very long time. The only difference I see is that they seem to be working with women of all ages, and I’m pretty interested in working with millennial women mainly, at least at first. Another woman whose work struck me was Jess’. She totally has the empowerment strategy I desire for millennial female clients. She has a rocking website, lots of praise and notoriety, and seems to really have her whole package organized really well. She isn’t doing anything in regards to nature connection, though. I would love to incorporate her business savvy with some serious nature connecting resources and strategies. Overall, I feel like my vision of the ideal client is uber specific, but like Michael said, I think that is going to be really helpful at this stage.
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Summary post:
It has been such an utter joy and adventure to read everyone’s posts about their threshold experiences. I struck by how readily (no matter if you like control or find it easy to give up) everyone spoke of such deep surrender to the forces of nature. I got a very clear picture that nature and your souls were conspiring to whisk you all away on a journey of the heart to be shown something hiding just below the surface, and how you all seemed let the pull lead with humility. It was beautiful to be reminded by a few of you of the 50/50 rule in this regard. Something significant that I’m taking away from foundation three is that, as a coach, I need the pull of my client’s threshold to carry me along in a similar way so that I too can spot the important opportunities nature is presenting for learning and transformation; this chance for our clients is so much about submerging into the intensity of the threshold, but we must also hold on to our highest awareness in order to be present for the subtle movements of the Earth and reinforce those lessons for the client.I love how all of our experiences looked and felt differently, but at the core, were all characterized by this profound submission to the process. Reading all your posts also made me SO EXCITED for the cohort to be reunited back on that magical land <3
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Mandy, this session was amazing to observe, and I’m loving reading your perspective on it! Much of what it seems like was going on for you was visible to me at the time, too. The following statement really summed up what I observed: “I had to turn a corner in my approach and move from gently making a few suggestions, to energizing myself and the client and saying “I’ve got an idea! Would you be willing to try something out with me?” I think this shifted the dynamic and energy of the entire session in a way where we were now in greater contact and fully in experiment together”. As I think I told you in person, there was a definitive shift that I saw where you totally went from an observer (totally not a bad position! Sometimes clients may need someone to just unload to) to an active participant and co-guide. Very empowering and inspiring to see 🙂
I think you hit the nail on the head when you said, “The part that flowed for me was in using statements rather than questions during the experiment”. As we saw from Derek’s strategy. this totally creates a bond and deep empathy between coach and client. Kudos!
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Kent, what a joy it was to read about your experience with your client! I totally echo Mandy’s sentiment about your super keen observation skills or tracking right where your client is at. I was really impressed by how you not only seemed to be right there with her in all that was coming up around this very painful topic, but you also seemed to be acutely aware of the waves of energy that arose at different points. You wrote, “I sense in this state of euphoria that she is beginning to transcend the moment so I ask her if she is willing to spend a moment sensing what is around her; her feet on the floor, body in the chair, hands on her lap, sounds in the room, etc”; so cool that you could sense these energetic shifts so quickly, and respond to her in a way that kept the energy up by asking her to go into her body more! Awesome.
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Rachel, so awesome to read about your session and notice the fluidity there! I can really sense from your writing that you were there to, first and foremost, hold the container for your client to move around as she saw fit, but really kept her accountable to herself (and the showed no fear to name her expression of self-imposed limits). I think this was most clear to me when you wrote, “There were many moments when I felt her deflections kick in, mostly through avoidance by storytelling, or overloading herself to overwhelm. I would calmly name them, discover if they were familiar, and use whatever arose in her body’s response to guide us back to present moment”. I agree with the sentiment that Kent shared; you seem to be striking a crucial balance between allowing what is, and guiding toward the focus of what can be.
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Mandy, I felt such a genuineness from your post that you’ve occupied these painful states of a lack of flow and soul connection with your artistic expression in the past, and that you are ready and able to help others move through the same sludge within themselves to get back to state of being able to “bring a unique and inspired expression into this world as an offering to this beautiful and precious life”. I find it so beautiful that your coaching vision seems to center around this incredible theme of the importance of bridging the gap between spirit and Earth in a way that is of giving and service.
In the section where you talk about how you would use the skills you have/the ones were learning to guide these populations, I felt such an assuredness with the many ways you could approach sessions. This clarity and organization really struck me in the following paragraph, “I would like to work with both populations in an outdoor setting doing grounding exercises, body scans and sensory awareness exercises like the Seven Stairs and Breaths to increase their awareness of themselves and what is clogging the highway of internal knowing. I think there are a ton of opportunities to explore and practice detaching from the mind and the “shoulds” and listening to the soul. I could see utilizing Medicine Walks, creating art in nature, and having any number of unique threshold experiences in nature to increase this capacity to hear oneself. I can imagine that some parts work might become important as well”. Just from the brief period where you and I worked on the grounding exercise in our practice session, I truly feel that you have a very real power to help people reconnect in this way; it’s palpable and transformative. I’m so excited to see what you do with these practices <3
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Kaity, I really appreciate all the questions you’re bringing up here, and I totally resonate on the confusion. I also want to say that I think its important for us at this stage to be open and transparent in our confusion at this stage in the game, and not be afraid to ask the hard questions; its nice for me to see you doing just that, because I feel like it opens me up a bit more to do it as well. I like your following quote for that reason: “I am sitting in the unknown while my vision comes into place, trying to bring it together piece by piece”. This really feels to me that you are getting comfortable in the place of mystery (no easy task!), and it shouts of a wisdom and patience in you.
Also, I think that your blending of NCC and yoga therapy makes a hell of a lot of sense. I think once the puzzle pieces come together more for you, that plan will be wildly successful <3
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Brian, it’s really beautiful to see how your vision is unfolding in an organic and, in a sense, unexpected way! Like others have mentioned, it really feels like this realization and the faith you’re putting in it is a perfect example of you relinquishing control to becoming a vessel for divine providence. Way to surrender to the forces that are pulling you toward an area you may best be able to serve 🙂
The following quote kind of sums up how I see you expressing the image of your vision: “[kids are]…setting a foundation for their future. A few of these goals include, curiosity, inquisition, understanding, connection, comfort in nature, excitement, and of course…FUN!!!”. I totally agree with you that laying the bricks for the foundation of nature connection is of the utmost importance at this moment in history. I appreciate you heeding that call, and I can totally see you doing amazing work in this area!
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Awesome post, Kent! Thanks for going into such rich detail about how you felt and conceptualized your experience in the threshold. I’m especially struck by the following excerpt: “In many ways I see the threshold as the “filling” after much has been emptied during severance. This is a unique, and attractive, action utilized as a NCC. I also see the threshold as the “breathing out” portion of the ceremony. During severance a lot of “breathing in” and tension can be built up, even if the client is experiencing many positive insights about themselves”. I see this filling up after severance while concurrently letting go of the tension built up as a really beautiful and accurate description of how threshold feels. It’s almost as if we are severing ourselves from beliefs or ideas we previously held, and that newness can cause tension in the hard working of our minds, but the threshold allows for that feeling of tension to be released as we incorporate the fresh way of being into our selves in the held space of nature. I can totally see it as both an intake and release at the same time!
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So great to read you post, Kaity! Thank you for giving us a beautiful and clear image of your processes through your threshold. Like David noted, the way you used both “going with the flow” and “against the grain” made a lot of sense to the description of your experience. Although they classically look to be opposite one another, I processed your assertion as “surrendering to the flow IS going against the grain”, at least in the way society programs us to be avoidant of vulnerability. I really got a lot out of you using both those phrases to support your experience in threshold.
A passage that jumped out to me was, “In my process described above, the wind spoke to me. The second I climbed up onto the rock, the wind grew strong as if encouraging me to move my body and be light”; I resonate a ton with this, as I find the wind to be a part of nature’s communication! I often find the wind to be jarring if I’m in a tense, locked up place of being. However, as soon I let go to the messages within the wind, I typically walk away with a nugget of wisdom that feels powerfully transformative. It sounds like you totally surrendered to the wind in your experience, and got the push you needed to be the sunflower 🙂