[Hannah]

My first session after the face to face, I met with a new client. It turns out, this person was the closest to my ideal client I have worked with! It felt amazing to be working with just the client I have imagined. I could hear her “irreconcilable opposites” and we built the energy around them to the point where the myth just jumped out of her. And it was even cooler because I knew what was happening in her brain as she was experiencing all of this!

My client had come into the session with some issues around lots of transitions coming up in her life. She is finishing grad school and is unsure of where she’ll be living, what job she’ll have, if she’ll continue in her current relationship etc. As we worked our way through severance she talked about her deep desire to connect humans and nature in order to heal themselves. (By the way, she sounds like a great fit for EBI….). But she shared that she is feeling disillusioned with her graduate degree and feeling like it isn’t the right path for her to help connect humans and nature in order to heal the world!

She discovered that she is holding a big mistrust of the universe because she took a leap of faith going to grad school. She put in a lot of time, energy, and money but now feels like the universe dropped her because it turned out not to be the right path. She expressed feeling a huge release as she spoke this. She also recognized a grieving process that needs to take place because of this. So, she had uncovered a previous myth that is now stopping her from reaching her goals. The assumption was “I did what I thought was right, took a leap of faith, and it didn’t work out for me and now things are falling apart. So this means I cannot trust the universe to hold me when I leap this time.” The new myth that emerged is “I need to trust that the universe will hold me.”

My client created a powerful threshold where she practiced with this idea of the universe holding her. She made an analogy to a romantic relationship when trust has been broken. She said there needs to be a re-building of that trust through experimenting. So she is working on rebuilding her trust of the universe by asking, testing and experimenting in smaller ways. Her threshold was the first of what she plans will be many experiences of asking if the universe will hold and support her…then receiving an answer.

My client has a really strong experience of the mythic image. She can see herself as someone who trusts the universe again and is able to step into her role as a connector of humans and nature in order for healing to occur. But she also very strongly feels mistrust and fear because of what happened with her graduate school experience. I am hoping that the strong experience of the mythic image and her threshold experience of feeling held and supported by the universe will help her deepen the trusting neural pathway so she can jump into the work she really wants to be doing in the world.

[Hannah]

Initial Post:

Hey Everybody!

Well, I can’t seem to get away from partswork even if I try! In every session I’ve had over the past few weeks, parts have made an appearance. Even when I was trying my best to focus specifically on Gestalt, parts of my client were just jumping up and down asking to be heard, so I went with it. I’m not clear on whether I’m simply picking up on opportunities to ask about parts more frequently now or if maybe I’m unconsciously directing our sessions towards partswork but regardless…I’m feeling really excited about it.

Each of the sessions I had in the last few weeks were first time sessions so I found myself not wanting to dive headlong into creating mandalas and discovering parts, even though it would have been easy to go down this road. Instead, when it became clear that there were conflicting parts being activated by my clients’ issues, I would ask them about those parts. Were they familiar with that voice or feeling? Did that voice or feeling often “run the show” or was it hanging in the background? If that voice had unlimited power, and no one stopping it, what would it do or say?

It seemed like exploring these voices was helpful even without the full context of partswork being shared with my client. I noticed that identifying the conflicting parts active in the issue at hand near the beginning of the session helped provide common language and a reference point to check in about throughout the session. I found myself asking “Am I hearing that same Rebel part speaking right now?” or “Are you familiar with the voice who just said that?” or “Which voice is speaking when you get into those situations with your boss?” or “What would your Grippy part say to that?”

It also seemed that my client’s biggest or most impactful take away’s from the sessions were all related to new realizations about their parts. One of my clients created a threshold experience for himself to do outside of our session – and it revolved around intercepting his “police dog part” with a new softer, compassionate voice (unnamed as of yet) that he unearthed during the session.

I feel very drawn to partswork and I’m looking forward to hopefully having more sessions with some of these clients so that we can get into a more full experience of partswork. I also have been gestating an idea about adding a partswork section into the curriculum I’m creating for group wilderness trips! And getting curious about how partswork plays into group work in general. Which of our parts tend to show up when we’re in a group? Do our quieter more nervous parts take over? Do our assertive, louder parts take the reigns? How can we work on being more authentically ourselves (with all our parts) when we’re in groups? How can we guide groups through the connection phases of their development so that there is enough safety for our “protector” parts to step down and allow for a fuller, more authentic experience? I’ll report back if I find answers to any of these curiosities!

And of course, I feel like I’ve only just embarked on my own partswork journey of getting to know my parts, and of cultivating present moment awareness of who is showing up in different moments. After our face to face and my session with Rob that you all witnessed…I’ve enlisted my close friends to help point out when they experience firey/passionate/warrior energy from me. I’m still trying to locate that part in myself…or notice when other parts step up and fill that role for me.

[Hannah]

Summary Post:

Wow – after reading through this whole conversation, I’m in awe of the collective wisdom and experience of this group! You all are incredible humans. I feel honored to be learning with and from you.

The theme that is coming up for me is vulnerability and authenticity. I think the powerful “here and now” approach of Gestalt invites us to step into our authentic selves (as coaches) and also sets the tone for our clients to do the same. I appreciated the many thoughts that were shared about coming into a moment of uncertainty and being real about it. The ideas about taking a few moments to gather and organize all the information your client shared, the thoughts on ways to disclose to your client that you’re feeling unsure of what direction to take (and handing the reigns back to them in doing so), the overall willingness to trust and be present despite whatever is happening….these feel like the juiciest tidbits of Gestalt!

A client I met with earlier today told me she was feeling a rush in her chest – the edge where anxiety and excitement meet. Then she laughed and said “So – we’re definitely on the right track!” I believe that Gestalt is about living on that edge, staying with that rushing feeling of aliveness and diving in. And actually…maybe that is what coaching is too 🙂

[Hannah]

Initial Post:

Hello everyone! I apologize for being so late to this conversation. I was in a dry spell of clients (and motivation) but I’ve recently jumped back in and suddenly have lots to write about! In the past week I’ve met with four different (new) practice clients. I noticed Gestalt techniques popping up in each of those sessions but I’ll focus on one where I was intentionally and specifically practicing with the skills we learned in our Face to Face days with Derek.

I began my session by sitting down with my client and spending a few moments to simply arrive together. I asked my client to notice her breath, notice our surroundings (sounds, smells, feelings etc.), notice her internal landscape (sensations, emotions etc.). When our short meditation was complete, we began the session. I think that starting off by connecting to our environment and to ourselves helped set the tone for the session. Also getting a sense of her own baseline energy helped set us up for noticing changes in that throughout the session.

My client was prone to getting sucked into side stories that felt like they took energy away from the true issues she was working to narrow in on during severance. I found it very helpful so simply ask, “What does it feel like to be telling me about that? What are you aware of now?” This question brought my client back to the present moment, back to her body, back to the energy that had been building before the story.

In this session I learned how it can be such a delicate dance of guiding the flow of the session so the client stays with their most energetic topics while also making sure to keep things client led. I found myself often feeling like I was gathering up so many bits and pieces of information, story, body language etc. that were cascading out of my client – then, in big armfuls, handing them back to her. She would take them all, set some aside and then hold up the important ones for further examination. In this way we worked to hone in on the deeper need.

My new understanding of contact boundary disturbances made me hyper aware of when my client was in alignment or not. At one point, she even described a feeling of being out of alignment with her true self. She mentioned that often when she’s around friends or other people, she acts like she’s great and everything is fine even if it isn’t. We talked about the pressure she felt to stay cheerful and not bring other people down by talking about her problems. But this, she said, felt out of alignment. As she was talking, I kept hearing Derek in my head talking about congruence. Was this behavior congruent with the true self my client had described? No! We talked about her tendency to go along with the emotions or energy of others even when it doesn’t “fit.” This led into some conversation of parts! More on that later…

One other piece of Gestalt learning that I’ll mention was with a different client. This was a challenging session for me because I felt like I never fully attuned with my client. We would make contact briefly here and there, but for most of the session I felt like I was reaching through fog to try and access her. I was unsure of what she was talking about and the questions I asked to help clarify seemed to elicit more story and more vague words but not much more clarity. However, my client felt sure of what she was talking about so even though I wasn’t quite ‘getting it’ I decided to keep moving forward. Instead I tried to read her energy rather than her words. However, moving forward without even a clear understanding of what the issue was made it very difficult to chip away towards her bigger goal and deeper need. This session felt like my biggest flop in coaching to date. It felt like a mess to me. I didn’t know where we were in the ceremony, I wasn’t sure where to go next, I couldn’t tell if my clients energy was up or down.

Looking back on it I wonder if it was partly because this client really didn’t have an issue she wanted to discuss. She showed up without having filled out my intake form and couldn’t really come up with anything she was motivated to work on. But I also think the session felt like a flop because for whatever reason, I was not able to make continual contact with her. We were not in the flow together. As awkward as it felt, I’m glad this happened during my practice session because I imagine it might be something to be prepared for as I start working with more people. I’d love to hear everyone’s thoughts about this. Has anyone else experienced this inability to make sustained contact or get in the flow? What were some ways you’ve worked with it?

[Hannah]

Hi Anna!

Finally get around to wrapping up some homework and am re-visiting this discussion board. Thanks for your thorough post! And the inspiration to start reading Mindsight! As I read your post a thought emerged about how personal and pervasive this work we do is. Of course you acknowledge that working in an official way with David might not be in the cards, and that you’re using this experience as a way to think through how one might work with a client in a similar place as David. However, this is still a real scenario happening in your life RIGHT NOW! So first, thank you for sharing about your personal experience integrating some of this brain stuff! I can imagine that the differences in how you and David perceive the world impact your daily life significantly (and I’m happy to do a session with you around this if it would be useful to you!) And second, I love how you’re using this personal life experience to deepen your inquiry into methods for coaching folks in similar situations. I’m realizing that it is often my personal challenges and learnings that inspire my coaching work too! It seems this is a common thing among coaches and other mental health professionals – that we dive into work that we’re specifically interested in based on our experiences in our own lives! As I write this I’m wondering if there is anything to be cautious of because of this. I think having dialed in self-awareness is important so we can catch ourselves if we begin to overlay our own experience onto our client’s experiences. Anyway, thanks for your thoughts, Anna!

[Hannah]

Wow, Megan!
Thanks for sharing about your experience with this new exercise you’re doing. It sounds like a powerful way to connect and trust in your capacity to let the work flow through you!

And I love that you’ve discovered an alternate technique for connecting with soul. I think there are SO many roads that will get us there. And since everyone is unique, some roads will work better for some folks and not for others! Like for me, the seven steps doesn’t quite get me there and I’ve adapted it slightly to work well for me. I imagine that as we begin to work with more and more folks, we’ll discover various techniques that are effective for various people! I’m going to add your mirror exercise into my “toolbox” of possible ways for clients to try connecting to soul. Thank you!

[Hannah]

Hi Carrie,

Sounds like you were able to guide your client through the full ceremony…all the way through creating goals and making a plan! I’m impressed. I’ve been finding that I get stuck in severance with many of my practice clients. I think it’s possible that there just wasn’t an opening for you to begin asking about parts. And there are probably sessions where that just isn’t the most helpful direction to take. I also hear some great awareness of your own discomfort with partswork – and there may be a lot of wisdom in listening to that part of yourself who does’t feel ready to guide in that particular way yet.

I love the idea of allowing nature to guide a client into partswork – cool!

Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

[Hannah]

Hi Anna,

Great to hear how Gestalt has been present in your life, even outside of coaching! I agree – this is powerful stuff that doesn’t have to stay locked in the coaching container.

In regards to the “experiment” question of how to encourage this part to be more client led….I’m wondering how you’ve worked with the creation of threshold experiences? To me, the Gestalt experiment and the NCC Threshold seem very similar. And that they could even overlap in a session. Would it be helpful to approach the creation of client led experiments the same way you approach threshold? I know when you’ve coached me, I’ve never felt like you were forcing thresholds down my throat, so you’re doing something right 😉

Looking forward to seeing you this weekend!

[Hannah]

Hey Kate!

What a cool idea to have your client consult their council and their soul place to help lay the foundation for their session! I love this idea. I typically only ask about desired session outcome after we’re finished with severance…and now I’m seeing how much more client led everything could be if I began the way you do! I imagine this is something that might be most effective with a longer term client like yours? Have you begun sessions this way when working with newer clients?

Thanks for the idea and for sharing about your session!

[Hannah]

Hi Carrie,

Thanks for sharing your experience with Gestalt and NCC! I agree that the two seem to fit naturally together. It sounds like your client got the gift of your questions, observations and reflections. That’s awesome. I’m curious about what stopped you from creating an experience with your client – like stepping over the log. Can you say more about feeling like it isn’t within the “NCC rules?” Do you have a sense of what blocks you from “going with the flow” when it comes to creating experiences?
It has definitely been my experience that confidence in coaching grows with practice. Keep at it, Carrie! It sounds like you’re right on track!

[Hannah]

Hi Elizabeth,
I love your ideas on how to bring your client back to the present moment. And I also love that you’ve thought of pulling back the curtain on what you, as coach, are experiencing in the present moment. That can be a very vulnerable thing to do – but also could be very powerful for your client to witness. It might even build that extra bit of rapport needed for them to dive deeper?

You mentioned something that really stood out to me. And I’m curious if you might dive further into the piece about “trusting myself to share in the client’s experience without manipulating.” What would need to shift in order for you to be able to do that more easily?

ps – I’ve been experiencing some challenge with fast-talking clients, too! I definitely need to practice the art of interruption if I’m going to be able to guide these types of clients effectively!