David Fontaine
Forum Replies Created
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Foundation One had to be one of the biggest growing experiences of my life thus far, particularly at the intensive. In the many months after I originally signed up for the Coaching Certification Course, I found myself, at times, racked with worry and discomfort around practice coaching taking place in the first week of learning. As I think about the depth of topics we covered there, I can think of no other way you could really teach that in lecture or classroom format where a group of students would absorb the information like we did. The highly experiential training we received there, while very uncomfortable at times, really drove the process deep inside of us. I was familiar with a lot of the meditations and exercises we practiced at the intensives but, since being back home, I’m finding that I’m getting much deeper experiences from them. My sit spot times have felt magical. And it’s not that anything particularly exciting is happening there, it just feels so peaceful and connected. I catch myself with a smile on my face out there very often. You could say my sense of awe has been restored. I also feel like I interact with people so differently now, whether it’s how I listen, how I am aware of their personal space and their baseline shifts, or knowing when to just be quiet a bit longer. I loved the concept of coaching presence and I’m working on applying those attributes to my everyday life, not just in a coaching scenario. Overall, I’m finding that I’ve been able to manage myself and my reactions to things with greater ease. I’ve been able to come home from Boulder and ask for the things I need that I’ve been afraid to ask for.
One of my biggest take-aways from Foundation One was the concept of getting to the greater need. I’m not only learning how to do that for myself, but I’m getting to practice that with friends and family (without necessarily going into a full coaching session) to help give them a little more clarity. This is such an important thing in life, to know what we really need and how to lift the veil that the need resides under in our minds. While being coached during the intensive I discovered many things I wasn’t seeing clearly and many of the topics I brought to my coaches led to a common theme….a need to honor myself.
The discussion forum with the cohort really reaffirmed for me that every single person has such a unique perspective. We all read the same chapters in the same books. We consider ourselves to be “like-minded”. Yet we all churned out amazingly different and insightful points of view on the topic of Nature Connection. This is so important to remember when working with our clients. We’ll never encounter the same issue from the same perspective, ever. It forces us to treat every conversation and every client as a new opportunity that has never been explored.
I am honored to be part of this program with a group of beautiful, brilliant, kind and loving people who go out of their way to support each other. Each member of this cohort had a significant role in my wonderful experience during Foundation One. Thank you to all!
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Hi Leslie! I felt like you were speaking on my behalf as you described your own experience in connecting with nature. I,too, feel like the most raw version of who I really am when in nature. I feel comforted. I feel accepted as I am. I truly feel at home there. I’m starting to feel more like I am part of it rather than seeing myself as a visitor in nature. Nature makes me want to challenge myself in ways I sometimes don’t engage in when in societal life. There’s something about doing that in a way that leaves you to your own devices to solve problems and maintain your well-being that is exhilarating to me! In a world where we have technology to show us how to do anything, to answer any question we may have…..the art of self-reliance is dying.
The question I have for you, and for myself, is how do we maintain our feelings of being in nature when living our day to day lives, which are also nature :)?
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Hi Susan! Your reference to Jenny Roger’s “The core purpose of coaching is to increase self-awareness, to make choices explicit, and to close the gap between potential and how things are currently (p.9).” makes me think of a part of Coyote’s Guide that talks about guiding clients to the edge of their comfort zone and beyond. This first requires us to meet them where they currently are and then pull them farther and farther out. To me, a client’s potential will be found in these explorations of the outer edges of the comfort zone and by staying a few steps ahead of them, we can help them reach places they never thought possible. The thought of that is exciting! I’m happy to see the two different readings talking about the same concept even though one is written from a strictly coaching point of view and the other is more guiding. As someone who has an interest in possibly incorporating both, this seems very applicable!
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Being connected to nature, to me, is a state of being that is directed by soul. It is a deep understanding of and a careful tending to self, to other people, to non-human beings and the natural environment. It is an awareness and acceptance of the interconnectedness of all of these things. It is a presence in the now and an awareness of what is being reflected to me through people, non-human beings and the natural environment. My answer to this topic reminds me of a verse from the Tao, where the invitation is to “Live in accordance with the nature of things. In dwelling, be close to the land. In meditation, go deep in the heart. In dealing with others, be gentle and kind. Stand by your word. Govern with equity. Be timely in choosing the right moment. One who lives in accordance with nature does not go against the way of things. He moves in harmony with the present moment, always knowing the truth of just what to do.” I feel compelled to add that being nature connected is a state of surrender. It is a trust that all is as it should be and that I have everything I need to navigate my life.
As coaches, our personal connection to nature will allow us to collaborate with it and gain deeper understanding of a client issue. It opens up the possibility for nature to reflect back to us and our client. Jon Young, in his What Is Deep Nature Connection posting, talks about how deep connection can lead to an overall well-being that comes with a quiet mind, heightened creativity and deep listening skills. These are attributes that are highly valuable in a coaching relationship. We need to be able really HEAR what our clients are saying beneath the story. We need creativity in our process that can utilize the tools we have in the best way for creating insight and working toward clients’ goals. I think of some of the other attributes Jon talks about being present in nature connected people like “being truly helpful” and “empathy and respect for nature” and I feel a responsibility to have those present in me as a coach.
Additionally, if we can develop nature connection in our clients, we create new space for them to become more self aware and to be more in tune with their environment. Coyote’s Guide to Connecting with Nature talks about this concept and how nature can promote self-expression because nature is a perfect example of that type of expression. It can allow them to see and articulate their issues more clearly to a coach and open up more time for working with the new way of being and goal setting during a session. It will help us work around that concept of “system 1” that Jenny Rogers talks about in Coaching Skills, where the brain wants to shortcut and leads to us being reactive. Instead we can encourage the brain to slow down and work harder to arrive at the answers we’re looking for to help our clients.
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Welcome, Susan! So glad to have you along for this journey with us! Looking forward to meeting you next month.
David
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Hi All,
Just some follow up information on A Cabin. I spoke with them today and they have no availability on January 26-27 due to a big event they have going on, but they seem to have availability the other nights during our time in Boulder. Rates are $179 M-W, $189 TH and $209 on Weekends.
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Hello Classmates! I look forward to meeting you all in the coming months. I’m David and I live in Louisville, KY. I hope to connect with others in the class who will be traveling in for intensives who are interested in possibly sharing logistical costs (car, lodging, etc).
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Not yet having a profession where I get to coach or guide other people, this was my first experience in an “official” coaching role. I was on vacation back home in Vermont last week and chose my Sister as my practice client because, since my involvement with EBI over the past 8 months or so, she’s taken an interest and often says she needs my guidance in her life. I found myself nervous in the days leading up to this time together. Everything I’ve been doing and will continue doing over the next year and a half or so will be getting myself into a place where I can do this in a professional capacity. I think there was almost more pressure with it being a family member because, not only did I want to help her, I also wanted to make her proud and show her what I’ve been learning. We chose a spot close to her home for the ceremony and I reviewed my notes for the 100th time on how to conduct it,adding in some of my own pieces for the beginning (surrender breaths and engaging sensory awareness). She brought a part of her life to the ceremony that I had hoped she would, although I didn’t plan for anything in particular. We began slowly walking on a trail that would lead us to a more suitable area for the wander later on. I let her speak about what she wanted to get some clarity and direction on. She was really open and honest with me about her feelings surrounding it. It became clear pretty quickly through some specific words that she had some underlying needs that were a likely cause for why she was in the place she was in with her “problem”. When I shared with her what I was really hearing from her, she was shaking her head “yes” to all of it. I think some of what I was telling her had entered her mind before but she’d set it aside. After getting her set up for the threshold portion of the ceremony we entered the wander area. During this time with me following her, I had taken a mental note of each place she’d stopped and I was asking myself the sacred questions as though it was my own wander. As her coach, I wanted to know what these specific things had to teach me about her and how I could help her navigate them. I also noted any changes I’d noticed in her physically and energetically. I really couldn’t believe what I was observing. I was witnessing “the pull” to specific things and feeling her energy shift as she neared them. Nature had really brought a lot of things to the table for us during this time and I could sense that she was seeing that as well. At the end of the wander we discussed the places she stopped and she really had some deep insights into those moments. I helped her apply those to this new way of being that we were exploring. I also shared a little about what they were showing me as a witness. She said she felt amazing leaving that space and felt so relieved that she could see a way out of the place she felt trapped in. I think visualizing ourselves being a way that takes responsibility for our current state and seeing ourselves show up in a way that can heal our troubles really shows us that we’re in control of the outcomes. Her seeing herself taking care of those emotional needs shows her that she’s capable of doing it because she already knows how to do it, she just needed to remember how. She had placed patches on her life that weren’t holding up any longer because they only provided short-term relief and sometimes no relief at all. What a great experience and what a wonderful gift to be able to share with her. I’m so grateful!
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I reflected on deep listening with a friend of mine who is a self-proclaimed “horrible listener who wants to be a good listener” as I thought that might make for some interesting observations. Our conversation started with just normal chatting, catching up and sharing recent stories. I wanted to kind of get a baseline of the energy and a sense for the reciprocal listening from my friend, which was marginal at best, haha! When I shifted the conversation to the topic of deep listening and shared an experience of how I used it on a run the day prior, I could sense an energy shift….I could see an ear perk up. Body language changed in a way that I would identify with a good listener. The cell phone was not only put down but placed with the face down, which was not being done before. We all have a sense within us that tunes in at an amplified level when something is being discussed that we need to improve on. Kind of like the brain’s way of saying “hey, pay attention to this. This is important.” There was an immediate interest in the details of how to develop and hone these skills. It was quite amazing to see this play out in front of my eyes. It was like a direct view into the brain. Would I have noticed this in any conversation had I not learned the concept? Absolutely not. And now we were both engaged in a conversation where both sides had a real vested interest. The interesting part was when we shifted from the topic from deep listening to the next topic and seeing yet another change. I could sense him trying to consciously use deep listening while I was talking and I could tell he was distracted. It had come so easily to him without him even realizing it just 20 minutes prior. I think this is a good reminder that we all have this ability naturally within us.
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I want to circle back to the wander we did on the last call in and share what has come up for me since that time. If you recall, I had found a feather on the return walk to come back to join the call. With only a few minutes left to ponder why that came into my path and what it might have to show me, I was left stumped. Following Michael’s suggestion that I keep working with that feather (which was confirmed to be an owl feather) over the next several days to uncover its importance, I took it to my sit spot, took it down the 7 stairs with me and was still coming up with blanks. It wasn’t until a few days ago, I journeyed back in my mind to that day and looked at events and observations I’d had around that time, even a couple days prior to this feather find. I had shared an experience on the forum that I had had with a fledgling robin throughout the course of an entire day. After that day I no longer saw that robin and, over the next couple of days, my mind tried to conjure up scenarios that could explain its absence from my yard. All of those were explanations trying to paint a picture of it being alive and well in some other back yard. I remember on the day of the last call, and even during the call I was still thinking about this. I remember saying to myself “you’ll never know the real answer to this. This will be one of those things you just don’t get closure on”. And now it seems that I was probably wrong about those statements. I think the real answer was shown to me and that answer was that an owl had got to my robin. I had gone on that wonder with no true intention or question, but the question of the status of the robin was certainly an underlying question that nature kindly answered for me.
In my wander since then, I went out with a specific question and that was “how do I find deeper focus?” I wandered around my yard which is just an incredible place to practice! I was eventually led to my hammock where I partook in a short lay in it while swinging back and forth, taking in my surroundings. All the while repeating my question. Then Michael’s voice rang in my head saying “if you’ve been practicing the 7 Stairs exercise for a while now, try it with your eyes open and while you’re moving around”. So I did just that. I went through the whole exercise fully alert. I was blown away that I was actually able to do this effectively since I sometimes struggle to keep focused on it, even when I’m seated with my eyes closed. I think the lesson for me here was that while repetition is key for building focus fitness, so is changing up the way you practice. I immediately likened this to running. I can run the same trail day after day and my body will eventually get used to that one trail. It will become incredibly easy for me, almost like my body is on auto-pilot. Then I go run a different one and I struggle to run the same distance and difficulty. The same applies to my mind where it will kind of shortcut things its starting to do well and, before I know it, I’m inadvertently cutting out important pieces and doing things in auto-pilot. Nature participated in this wander (like it always does) by washing the mind clear and letting the important things rise to the surface. I had forgotten Michael’s suggestion and just like that, it came to me.
This insight has opened my mind more to practicing in all different scenarios and mixing things up a bit to stay “in shape”. Today I did my sit spot routine while a tree crew was chain sawing tree limbs and chipping them up in a loud chipper. Normally I would have required my sit spot session to be quiet and just the right moment.
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Hi All! I just wanted to hop on the general forum here to share a really cool experience I had this week! I was going about my morning yesterday which included the ever exciting “getting the recycling bin from the street side” where I found a small robin perched on a ledge just inside the open bin. It just looked at me as I stood there dumbfounded that it didn’t fly away. My normal reaction to this was that it must be injured or sick but it looked really healthy and I didn’t see any ruffled or loose feathers. I slowly tipped the bin on it’s side so I could try to get him to move and observe whether he was injured or not. He hopped out onto the ground and then flew quite a ways off, appearing to be fine. Later on in the morning I was trimming back a small tree on the side of the driveway (and when I say “small tree” I mean it stands about 4 feet high) very near to where the bin was earlier, when suddenly the same bird came fluttering into the tree I was working on and landed on a limb right near my head. Again, dumbfounded, I stood there not really knowing what was going on. He just sat perfectly still and looked right at me. I went and got a little bowl of water and set it on the ground below the tree and watched him a little more as I started to research this kind of behavior from birds on my phone. I came across an incredibly helpful article from a New York state audubon society that had a lot of very detailed ways to troubleshoot this scenario. After going through them, nothing seemed to be wrong with this little guy. Reading further, they talked about how this kind of behavior can often be misinterpreted by humans and leads people to intervene and try to help. I have to be honest and say that I was very close to taking him somewhere. The behavior I was seeing was actually a fledgling who was still early on in his adventures away from the nest and flying. As soon as I read that I started seeing all the signs that he was actually ok. He and his mom were calling to each other, he was taking cover in low brush for safety, he was fluttering his wings and practicing balance. I spent a good part of the day observing this awesome moment of seeing a young bird gain its independence and even saw the mom come by a few times to feed him a worm. While pondering on this experience last night, that was quite literally put right in my face to see, I realized this event had a lot to show me. I recently moved in with my girlfriend who has an 8 yr old daughter. We’ve been struggling with bedtime habits and routines with her and we’ve been completely frustrated. I think this was nature’s way of showing me that young will find their way but they still need a little patience and understanding from the parents as they navigate new environments. It was a valuable lesson and one that has made us look at this from a different angle!
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Practicing objective awareness over the past several days has first of all been a really healing experience for me. Taking this time for calm, introspective observation was something I had been lacking on a regular basis. Having just moved a couple weeks ago, I’m feeling very much like a fish out of water right now and filling my time with a lot of tasks that need to be done at the new house to make it livable and comfortable. Spending time on these awareness practices has revealed to me that I am absolutely wearing myself out physically with all of the activity. Focusing in on my body revealed that quickly to me. I’m sore and lethargic. This has shown me that I need to slow the hell down and balance my time better to take care of my body. I also notice how heightened my senses get when engaged in the awareness practice. I was doing a session in my hammock in the shade and, as I was focusing on the skin, I felt this really hot sensation on my arm. It felt so hot and so concentrated to one little spot that I opened my eyes to look. I was in complete shade but there was one tiny little ray of sun shining down on my arm through the tree. While I was focusing it felt like a match was being held to my arm but upon opening my eyes to look at it, it was suddenly not so intense. I love how the smells waft through as well. This was something I can say with certainty I never paid a lot of attention to unless I new something particularly aromatic was nearby. Now I’m picking up so many different things in the air. I can’t identify most of them but it’s still incredible to experience. Like Erinn and the others, I am also finding it easier to do this when I’m alone and the surroundings are pretty absent of other human noises. I tried the awareness practice with my girlfriend and her daughter as we sat on the front porch (which is also my sit spot) and it didn’t have the same depth to it as some of the other sessions. I was distracted by everyone using the space in their own way which was quite different than how I use it, haha. But there were a few opportunities to point out some things to them that made me really happy to get to share with them.
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Kimberly, I love what you did “orienting” him through the wander process and helping him feel a direction of pull. I think anyone who hasn’t done this before can struggle with just being left to go somewhere if they aren’t really feeling a direction. These are great little exercises that I can see aiding a client. Thanks for sharing!
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Beautifully expressed, Kimberly! I’ve had some incredible encounters with robins in the past several weeks that have really opened my eyes to some deep insights. They’re one of the greatest teachers, I’ve found. It helps that they’re more tolerant of our close physical presence as well, as long as we’re displaying awareness and respect for them. I’ve come to be a believer in the idea that what needs to cross our path and be seen by us always will. It’s a matter of whether we’re seeing it as a lesson or just something cool that happened. In some respects I believe that our answers do come from experiences outside of ourselves but it depends on how we process those experiences and it relies on us having the awareness to ask ourselves “what is this showing me?” to make those external experiences valuable to us internally.
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Hi Jacklyn! I often would go back to the call recording to listen to the 7 stairs exercise as it helps me to focus better when I’m being walked through it versus trying to remember it and prompt myself through it. I’ve been doing this one since the course I took over the winter and over time this and the other exercises will stick with you as you do them repetitively. It becomes second nature over time. But until then, I suggest going back to the recordings and notes often as they are great resources for staying focused and it takes away the worry that you’re forgetting anything. I also built a daily routine which includes the exercises I find most beneficial. I like to do mine in the morning and that starts with getting out in my sit spot, doing surrender breaths, using 360 vision and hearing. I take that into full sensory awareness and then I do the 7 stairs. I’m starting to add wanders to my routine, not daily but a few times a week. The great part about this is there is no wrong way to practice. It can be catered to what works best for you. And the more you can engage in it the better.