[David Fontaine]

Summary post for Gestalt:

The major take-away for me is the close linkage of Gestalt to Nature Connected Coaching. I’m seeing that there are many approaches to achieve the same outcome. And the basis of the processes in the different types of therapy or coaching are almost identical. I like to call it a recipe for success because it’s hard to argue that change isn’t possible if you can guide someone through either process. At the very least, seeds are being planted by creating awareness so the client can get the change process started or move from one stage into the next. Or, in Gestalt terms, the client is moving forward in a healthier or more integrated way. It’s further driving home for me the goal of a session is more to help them move from one phase to the next and not expecting one session to be the end all be all for them.

I do think working with the Gestalt concepts has deepened my understanding of awareness and how there is many levels of it going on at the same time (awareness of me, awareness of client, awareness of awareness). I love how this layered awareness feels in the container. Both individuals are coming from the most open and raw place they can. They’re encouraged and invited to be dedicated to the process at all costs. They’re bringing whatever is there however it is showing up in the now. This feels like what genuine human contact should always be. What if we could bring that into our relationships with our partners, friends, co-workers, the world?

[David Fontaine]

@gmlobito1

What a great way to apply the Gestalt principles to your work life! I can really get a sense of how these community meetings have been a challenge for you in the past. The assumptions and blame the public make on the PD is kind of an attack on part of your identity as part of the police department. That makes me curious about the times that was difficult for you or times you responded to them defensively maybe in the past and how you completed the cycle in those instances. It definitely sounds like you are finding high road ways of doing that now! Thanks for sharing

[David Fontaine]

@lesliewier

“I see Gestalt principles being particularly useful in helping a client to understand the importance of ‘awareness’, and ‘awareness of awareness’, as habits in and of themselves.”

This is such great point and makes me think of the book Mindsight. I never thought of this as a habit but it so is. Awareness of awareness gets us fully into the prefrontal cortex and this is where perspectives and behaviors start shifting! We need to engrain this awareness just as we need to ingrain new desired behaviors for our new selves. Do you have any ritual you do around this for your own life?

[David Fontaine]

While I haven’t formally had a session where I applied Gestalt concepts intentionally, I am seeing that everything we have been doing has been closely enmeshed with Gestalt. If we look at the “Completing the Cycle” concept of Gestalt, we see that is has the following flow:
1) Sensation or awareness
2) Dilemma (“I need to do something with what I’m feeling”)
3) Action (finding some way of being ok or moving forward from the sensation or awareness through experimentation)
4) Integration (homework, affirmation statements, etc.)

The coaching model we’ve been using has followed a very similar flow…..client comes with an issue stemming from some kind of awareness of a conflict or they’re displeased with how that is currently going, which in turn creates a dilemma for them. This gets hashed out in the severance phase through story telling and powerful questioning where we find the deeper need. Then we move into the threshold phase where we “shake the homeostasis” and experiment with a new way of being that has the potential to resolve the conflict (this is similar to the action phase of Gestalt). Then in incorporation, we’re collaborating with the client to set goals to strengthen the new neurological pathways created by the experimentation.

In both Nature Connected Coaching in Gestalt, you see the core principles being identical: Awareness, contact with present moment, authenticity. Both require the coach to be engaged and present but separate from the client’s experience. Yontef talks about this as “contact is the experience of interacting with the not-me while maintaining a self-identity separate from the not-me” in Gestalt Therapy: An Introduction. Both require the facilitator to detect baseline shifts or contact boundary disturbances through deep active listening. Both require attention to what the client is owning for themselves vs. projecting onto others. In so many ways we have almost been doing Gestalt all along without even knowing it. For me, seeing it in this light makes Gestalt a little less scary and confusing.

Reflecting back on some of my coaching sessions thus far, I can pick a handful of times where there was a significant incongruence between what the client was saying and how that presented in their body language and expressions. I had noticed them but hadn’t done anything with them at the time. Those can be really key points in a session, I think, and have the potential to really uncover the deeper need at times. Or, it may just be one of those side roads that contain something separate that needs attention….something that is not a completed cycle, and that can take place within the same session.

Thinking about my ideal client, which is a client who has little to no nature connection experience, I can see how Gestalt work would be directly applicable because those types of people are lacking in awareness. In Gestalt Therapy: An Introduction, Yontef says “unawareness is the result of the person’s not being in touch with its external environment or fantasies, or not being in touch with its inner life due to fixation on the external”. My mission for my work is to bring a balance to the internal and external worlds of my clients.

[David Fontaine]

@deanna.falge

I feel the same sense of the Gestalt material showing up in my coaching and interactions with people in my life in small and valuable ways since the intensive. That’s what I love about this course! We are presented with many different ways to accomplish the same thing and we’re allowed to pull away the pieces that work best for us and our style.

In reading the part of your post where you talk about your occasional struggle with getting emotionally invested and getting sucked in by their story and triggers, the question coming up for me was, does this make you think more about who your ideal client is? Personally, if I have clients that have issues too similar to mine, I can see how that would have a tendency to pull me in too deep and affect my coaching. Just curious if that had come up for you.

David

[David Fontaine]

@Rollin, I feel incredibly grateful to have witnessed your transformation during this intensive. Not only was it beautiful to see but I learned a lot about how that process looks for someone. It was physically visible that something moved in a positive way for you. Loved your comment “I thought I was here to learn how to coach others”. I know that your experience during this intensive will be a direct tool for you to use with clients. Even when things unexpectedly become part of our own process during this course, those become extremely valuable to a coaches tool belt. I’m blown away by the experiences we’ve all had that have hit home for us and that is nature’s 50% contribution to Michael’s course curriculum. All valuable learning whether it comes out of the book or from our experience.

David

[David Fontaine]

Summary post: Take-aways from Trauma Module

My biggest take-away from the trauma module, by far, is the concept of resourcing. Not only have I been doing this for myself since coming home from this intensive, but opportunities to use the tools we learned have been popping up for me everywhere, personally and professionally. I’m kind of mind blown by it. I messaged a friend recently and she happened to be having some very overwhelming and dreadful thoughts about her life right at that moment. This came with a lot of anxiety and tense sensations in her body. I asked her if she could go over to the window and look outside for something she found pleasing and describe it to me. She first saw the grass blowing in the wind, then noticed the rain and described that for me. Then, all of the sudden she said “what the hell just happened here?? I don’t feel any of the sensations I was just feeling before this!”. Then I explained the brain science behind the shifting of focus of attention. Being able to share these tools with people I love feels like such a gift. I’ve been asking practice clients to come up with internal, external and spiritual resources for themselves so they have awareness of what can support them. If they are comfortable sharing them with me as the coach, now I have some additional tools I can use in sessions with them, not just in traumatic or tense moments. For example, if I know being near the water is a strong resource for them, we can do our sessions there. Knowing their resources also gives me an idea of who/what might be in their vision council, even if they’re not aware they have one 🙂

Another big take-away for me is understanding how the brain is functioning during trauma. This is so important because I think a lot of people who deal with trauma tend to blame themselves for still living it. This kind of gets the blame off the self and onto the brain as a result of how it normally functions. Again, I have felt compelled to share this education with folks in my life who suffer with a great deal of trauma. I know that for them, the simple fact of learning about their brain can create new connections for them that can help them navigate their triggering times, or alter their reaction to triggers. I saw the power of knowledge firsthand years ago when I had a severe bout of panic for many months and started educating myself on what was happening to me. So now when I learn things, the people in my life that the information could help come right into my mind. It becomes this huge drive within me to share it.

[David Fontaine]

Hello Maria! I wanted to chime in with some thoughts that came up for me around your observation that “I have a client right now who would rather just sit and talk than move”. First, could this be an indicator of how the client is perceiving your role in the relationship? Is the client clear that this isn’t talk therapy? I’m curious if her experience with therapists is influencing how she’s interacting with you.

Is it ok if she doesn’t want to move? I’m reminded of Michael’s “it’s not a problem until it’s a problem” quote. Is it the coach who wants to move or feels like movement is necessary or are there indicators within the client that are telling you that lack of movement is effecting results?

Just wanted to share my curiosities around this 🙂

[David Fontaine]

I went into this practice session wondering how I could possibly use or apply the concepts learned in the trauma segment of the last intensive. In my mind, the only opportunity to do that would have been if trauma had presented during the session. Through some discussion with the cohort, I gained some insight into how this might look. I think my curiosity around it must have led to my session going the way it did….and it showed me exactly how some of the concepts apply, even when trauma is not presenting itself. This was my first session with this client I’ll name Rachel for this share. From the intake discussion, I learned Rachel has a great deal of trauma that is very much present in her life and she works with a therapist and does some EMDR work as well. I explained that our work together might explore some of the beliefs and behaviors that resulted from the trauma but that her work on resolving the trauma will be best suited for her therapists. Rachel’s Mom passed when she was 8 years old and her Dad was neglectful to her and her siblings. It is evident through the discussion that Rachel thrives best in her adult life when she is directed or led by someone else, when she “follows rules”. She can be paralyzed by very simple decisions at times, even choosing what she wants to eat. And my mind made some notes around this and how her lack of parent presence as a child plays into how she’s living today. The topic she brought to this session was around maintaining and holding to her boundaries, specifically with her children and her husband. She wanted to walk while we discussed the topic in further detail and stopped herself early on and said “I feel like I’m really in my head right now”. I complimented her on her awareness of that and invited her to pause on the story and just continue walking. I wanted to bring her into her body. I asked her to focus her attention on her feet making contact with the ground. Within 4-5 steps she said “wow, that feels so much better!” I was somewhat impressed with myself and how I shifted gears from story into resourcing so I could help her find a calmer place to narrate from. With the success of that, I wanted to take it just a little further and invited her to focus her attention within herself and find a place that feels good or neutral. I could sense in her body language and posture that we’d established safety for her. She was very clear and concise in her story that followed and she appeared appropriately, emotionally connected to the different components of it. I could tell she was in the Contemplation Stage. While she had personally worked on this before, she was taking no current actions to maintain and hold to her boundaries. She had given back in to being overridden or believing that someone was abiding to them only to realize that was short term. Once they’d earned her approval, they went back to the same behaviors. She had never made it to the Maintenance Stage and she’d now circled back to Contemplation. Knowing where she was and wanting to create some curiosity about moving forward again, I wanted to collaborate with nature for insights. Our location was a lot busier with foot traffic than we planned on and she said that she wanted some space to process everything, saying that her story that she shared had really gotten some wheels turning. Inviting her to lead, we ended up on a short trail, dead-end trail I was very familiar with but had no idea how impactful this space would end up being for her. Before we stepped onto the trail by the sign post I explained the wander to her and asked her if she’d be interested in seeing what nature might have to show her while holding the thoughts and feelings she was experiencing. She was very receptive to it. The short version of this experience is that she keyed in on some things on the way down the trail that very much applied to her current life. The trail’s end has a short, wooden bridge that crosses a creek bed and ends at a small clearing that has a beautiful, restored pumphouse that pumps water to the ranger house. She stopped on the end of the bridge, although there was no blockade, no sign or anything preventing access to exploring the pumphouse area right in front of us (because it is intended to be a site you can explore). This further proved to me that she was in contemplation. Here we stood, on a bridge that left her current life situation behind us and very much showed signs of what her life could be on the other side, but she was reluctant to step onto the other side. I invited her to observe the other side from where we stood as though it was where she wanted to be in her life. Birds were alarming on the “new Rachel” side at something on the “old Rachel” side, but we were unable to determine why….until we turned to walk back over the bridge where we came from to find a fresh pile of scat at the foot of the bridge that was not there when we first passed that area! This was literally only 10 feet from where we were standing on the bridge. Something had come in and declared a boundary on her side (by marking its territory on the trail). She pondered this and said “yep, this looks a lot like how this side currently operates….someone shits all over my territory. That wouldn’t be possible on the other side of that bridge.” To close a very long share, my biggest take-aways from this as a coach is meet the client where they are and support that state of being with all of the resources you have. And stay in the flow!! Thanks for reading!

[David Fontaine]

Summary Post:

One of the big things I am taking away from this module is that the more I learn about the brain’s functioning and processes, the better I can show up for myself, for others and for clients. What we learned about brain science really stuck with me and has become a key component of my self-management. When we can manage ourselves well by having the awareness of some of the rabbit holes our brain can take us down, we can dismantle those tendencies at their core. This awareness allows me to be more present and connected to where my client is when we’re working together.

Another big take-away for me is that I feel a lot more comfortable sharing the knowledge about the brain…1) because I feel like I have a more solid understanding of it and, 2) by reading these posts shared by everyone, I can see the value and impact that knowledge sharing had in their sessions. Simply learning about the brain creates awareness and awareness leads to insight and better understanding of oneself. One of the most valuable pieces for me is the “Stages of Change”. Now that I know that change stems from this place of gradual awareness and movement from one stage to the next, I can make complete sense of why I have failed to see that change was necessary at certain times in my life and I can be more forgiving of myself when change didn’t come during the first attempt. I find myself applying this to other people’s stories that I have been a part of in my life and it all fits together like a puzzle for me now. I think about my Dad finally quitting smoking last year and how that presented in his behaviors at the time. He “went public” with his intention to quit and we know from Prochaska’s Encouraged: Changing For Good that this public declaration makes a commitment to change more powerful and is indicative of someone who is in Action Stage. From a coaching perspective, knowing the Stages of Change and being able to identify where a client currently is sets the stage for how we will work with them. We can construct a program for them that best promotes them moving into the next stage. Or it may lead to a decision to not work with them if where they are doesn’t fit into our style of coaching.

One thing I wish we had covered a little more is how to work with clients in the different stages, particularly pre-contemplation and contemplation. This will be a target for me to keep learning in my own time.

[David Fontaine]

Gina, wow! How important was recognizing where this client was in her change process?! What a great identification of her being in and out of pre-contemplation and adjustment of your approach with her. That shows incredible adaptability as a coach! You quickly figured out that body and self awareness was lacking and that that stems from being very much in the left hemisphere. I love how you shifted the session into creating that body awareness and giving her some tools, including journaling for her to work on between sessions to further build that awareness of her triggers. While the previous sessions didn’t get to threshold or incporation phases necessarily, she left with a valuable tool in her journaling that could be used in later sessions to track progress. I’m really inspired by your post and the level of adaptability, flexibility and humility you brought to these sessions. Even though you had foresight on where you could run with this, you stayed right where the client was, keeping her more engaged and feeling like she was powering the process. Great job!

David

[David Fontaine]

Deanna, thanks for this share and what a wonderful opportunity to use partswork with your client! This immediately brought to mind the need to sometimes thank a particular part for their service and repurpose it. His “obligation” part came to be in order to establish safety that lacked at one time in his life. What a great service that part performed for him when that was needed. But it is needed anymore? It sounds like he’s ready to put that belief behind him! I can see some key points where sharing neuroscience with your client was incredibly helpful in his process. What great intuition you have to see where it will be beneficial and feel comfortable enough in your understanding of the concepts to share those pieces with him.

David

[David Fontaine]

@Maria, thank you for your feedback on my post! I think the information we learned at the last intensive just landed so firmly with me that it created a new connection for me within my brain. I’ve told my brain “this is important” and now it is at the forefront when I need it. I sensed something come in during the session and almost say “let’s stay where she’s at, we don’t need to have a desired destination”. I would say there is definitely a part of me that likes to follow a plan and execute, keep moving forward in the progress, almost a rigidity that doesn’t allow for a lot of sway off the course….this was the place where I could identify my tendency to want to have a session go a certain way in the past. Great question!

David

[David Fontaine]

@Maria,

What an awesome job here with Client B in particular! I see so much importance in identifying those old stories or patterns of belief that were hindering her from what she wanted in her life. This is a perfect example of how we can be railroaded down one way of being and believing. Clearly at some point in her life this way of being was inconsequential but now you’re helping her to see that a shift is needed in order to serve the deeper need she has for her life NOW. Not doing so leads to these inner conflicts that she’s currently having. I can really get a sense of the care and patience you put into this session. I love the way you took time to celebrate victories since the last session with her at the start. Such a great way to begin! Your decision to educate, or share information, about change theory with this client felt like a really smart move. With someone who is experiencing her level of frustration with her inability to change, this knowledge can really set someone at ease. It let’s them know they’re in a process and can make them feel grateful that they are in it. As we all know, just being able to identify our own issue or contemplate it is a huge step to be thankful for!

I’m curious what you identified as the myth in her story for this session.

David

[David Fontaine]

My session with my practice client after returning with the information from this intensive gave me so much more clarity on the process. Immediately, I could sense myself identifying which stage of change she was in and that was contemplation. This was a new area she wanted to work on and I could identify some of her motivating factors within her story that led her out of pre-contemplation. A conversation (or intervention of sorts) with her Mom seemed to be the major motivator for moving this along and now she was seeing that she didn’t like this behavior and there was a newfound desire to change it. The “issue” brought forth in her story is that she spent a lot of money on shopping and it was getting to a point of personal debt and addiction to buying new things. I asked her how she viewed this issue before the conversation with her mom and she stated “it wasn’t even on my radar. I always just said to myself and others ‘I love to shop, this is part of my personality’ and I just identified with it. This made me think of a quote from Self Soul Spirit talking about how “human beings do what they want to do at any given moment under any given circumstances and make up reasons, excuses and logical constructs post facto for what they did”. While I agree with this statement, I do believe the behavior continues because we fail to identify what created it in the first place. We discovered later in the session, through open ended questioning, the new clothes that she looked good and felt good in built up her self esteem and that the material things only had a short-term boost to the feelings about herself. Thus, more things must be obtained to keep the feelings of being attractive and worthy. This was a low road cycle she was experiencing for many years of her life; low self-esteem and the associated sensations in the body led to impulsive spending to try to quell them. This was the brain’s “solution” that, after repetitive neural firing, became a state of being for her. So much so that she started identifying with it. “I love to shop, this is who I am”.

Now knowing what stage of change she was in as it related to the deeper need, I wanted to open up the threshold experience to explore the next stage (planning). Prochaska/Norcross/DiClemente, in Encouraged: Part 2; Changing For Good, talk about the importance of designing programs for the stage the client is in, “meet the client where they are”. How can we guide them and encourage movement to the next stage? When listening to how she wanted to use the threshold time, I wanted to encourage her to not just visualize one way that change might be possible for her but to take the time to brainstorm multiple options. This is a discovery and curiosity phase of sorts and there is no single prescribed way to effect change. Changing For Good says “research suggests that people are more likely to be successful in their change attempts when they are given multiple choices of how to pursue change rather than one; the success rate increases with three or more choices”. And with these options, designing them to be “countering” (positive behaviors in place of old behavior). I knew we weren’t in Action stage yet so I kept the focus on building her awareness, which makes change possible. It was important that she identify some beliefs or attitudes that needed to shift and, for the time being, just see what that looked and felt like. Using change theory is such a nice tool in my coaching and has put some of my past sessions into perspective for me. I always wanted the client to be in the Action stage, feeling like this is why we’re here isn’t it?, to make some changes and set goals to get right to changing! Knowing that this is a cycle and that no-one gets to skip stages gives me pause and makes me realize that the client is not always going to be in a place where we’re going to get right to work on actions. It’s also very humbling and teaches me that I need to let my expectations go! No matter what stage they are in, “we are in a position to empower individuals to take charge of their lives and learn the skills that can help them begin to change the neural proclivities that, without awareness, could remain on auto-pilot and leave an individual passive” (Siegel- Pocket Guide to Interpersonal Neurobiology).

Toward the end of the session she made a comment about how much clearer everything seemed to her and that “nature did that, being out here today did that!”. I said, “great! How might you incorporate nature in your day on a regular basis?” I was thinking of all of the benefits from Your Brain on Nature…..emotional stability, positive mental outlook, keeping mind in the present moment, heightened empathy (for self and others). Encouraging time in nature for our clients certainly won’t “solve the problem”, but it will set a healthy internal stage for the client to be creative in their own process.