Daniel Brisbon
Forum Replies Created
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Kairon, so much great insight and wisdom was shared right there! And I am definitely going to look up and watch that documentary you mentioned in your Initial Post!
That quick Awareness exercise you mentioned is spot on as well. I use that same method and exercise with myself and my clients. It goes as follows:
1. Become aware of the “story” or low-road thinking and programming in the mind (i.e. thoughts or beliefs of myself or the world that are no longer serving me)
2. Acknowledge that I am “skiing” down a mental rut that no longer serves me. It is important to acknowledge this is happening without judging myself or beating myself up
3. Practice a 4 sided breath (breathe in, pause, breathe out, pause) in order to re-calibrate and center the nervous system
4. Shift my focus toward a “story” or belief or thought that will serve me towards my goal and vision for my lifeThis practice takes only a few minutes like you said and has great impact and change in our lives when we dedicate to practicing daily and consistently.
Also, I really enjoyed reading that you are planning a celebration with your long term client! One of the greatest things we can do is celebrate when we have it a benchmark or milestone or just moved to a better way of being within our lives. It’s not only fun to celebrate, but it also trains and reinforces this positive behavior within our lives.
Thanks so much for sharing these great insights and congrats on becoming an EBI graduate!
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Melody, so much wisdom being shared here! And camping with your daughter and your dog sounds like an amazing time!
Reading your post I saw that you bring up the learning and practicing process several times. And being in that space of openness, and focused on the process rather than the result, to yourself and your vision is so important. In the stages of change, all the steps need to confronted with an open mindset, but none more so than when taking action like you shared.
And in my own experience I have noticed that when I am focused on learning, growing and challenging myself, I tend to lean more towards belief in myself and the journey. When I am focused on achieving the result, and that it has to be perfect, then doubt and lack of belief can sometimes creep in.
It sounds like your experience camping allowed for a lot of time in self reflection of your parts as well. It sounds like so much of you is on board with your journey and that there is a great opportunity to listen to the parts of you that express resistance and become the loudest. I can’t wait to hear more of what you notice and what questions arise as you keep consistent in your practice and reflections!
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Wow! You guys are already seeing creative ways to use this material! I love it!
Taylor, the 4 Seasons, or 4 Directions, is another great tool and metaphor to use! This concept was a huge learning experience for me in my personal life and the lens through which I saw my own growth and experiences. And in turn has allowed me to share that insight with clients so that they have been able to shift their perspective in a positive way.
Tracy, I look forward to hearing how this goes with your work too! A before and after snapshot sounds like a great learning tool for your clients as well.
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Haha yes I was referring to my “definition” of low road thinking and not the brain based definition. Thank you for asking about that because I definitely don’t want to confuse you with my response. My definition of low road thinking can be fear-based and trigger fight or flight though.
And yes, this is an exercise I have learned that allows us to reset our mental and physical state which in turn will influence and reset our emotional state so that the client is able to drop into that place inside with more clarity and connection to Soul. Because the mental thought process we have fuels and is directly connected to our emotional state.
So in order to shift the way we are feeling then we must first understand that our emotions are fueled and kept alive by our thoughts. It has been proven that an emotional experience cannot last more than 90 seconds in our body if our mind is not fueling with more negative or undesirable thinking. So the practice of acknowledging the way we are feeling, then letting go of the story that is fueling it, and then bringing in the breath and present moment somatic practices then we can shift to the love-based state and emotions that we are seeking.
I hope this makes sense. I’m much better at verbally sharing these practices and their impact and benefit than typing it out.
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Rachel, that was such an inspiring post to read from you! And with such great flow of using the different Toolbox Modules around your clients issue, want and deeper need! And even though this whole experience was over the phone with your client, it did not sound like that got in the way of discovering what was underneath the surface for your client. Which sounds like it was a great learning experience for you and your classmates that read this. Transformational growth and change can occur with your client even though you may not be in direct contact with them.
Through allowing space and a container for trust and intimacy it’s incredible what epiphanies and “a-ha” moments our clients can have by sharing their story, sitting with it, and listening to what the underlying emotion and story is that is fueling the struggle and suffering within them. Sounds like your clients are getting some serious growth and healing in their lives from working with you!
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Lauren, I hear a lot of great insight and awareness being shared between you and your client. Your follow up email with questions that are inviting her to focus on where she wants and needs to be are right on point. And there is a lot of truth and wisdom in that quote you shared from The Untethered Soul.
Along with practicing Partswork, these coaching sessions with this client sound like a great opportunity to identify Want and Deeper Need as well. The statement we look to hear from our client is that “I need to be….” statement. And this helps us, as coaches, the deeper need within the client. The want may be happiness, successful career, ideal partner but the deeper need is always finding that spark or fire that those things provide us within ourselves first. Rather than focusing on what makes the client happy, invite the client to listen deeply to how they can empower themselves to align with happiness within themselves first.
And that small shift can bring about great a-ha moments. Maybe the clients need to be kinder and more forgiving with herself and let go of the story that she HAS to have the perfect job and ideal partner in order to find happiness. Or maybe it’s something different, but the point is the answers and solutions are always within the client.
I look forward to hearing more about the growth and learning you get to experience with this client!
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Daaaang Lauren! It really sounds like you are understanding the key concepts and foundation of Gestalt work on a personal and professional level! Which is so important and such a great learning opportunity! And I say this because, from what I have learned and from personal experience, we learn and integrate things best when we first truly understand them within ourselves so that we can then share that deep wisdom with others.
Like I have said before, we are our own best coach and our own best client. The second we deeply feel and understand these tools (Gestalt, Partswork, Severance process) within our own lives then our potential for guiding others to that same space goes up exponentially.
I remember it took me almost a year from learning the Gestalt module as an EBI student until I honestly felt that I understood these concepts, that you’ve shared so well in your discussion and summary post, and knew how to implement them into my coaching work. So to hear how quickly you are picking this up is super awesome and inspiring!
And something I want to share with you and the whole group is that as you reflect on the F2F and your own private coaching experiences, remember to focus on asking yourself the Sacred Questions.
What am I noticing?
What is this telling me?
What is this teaching me?
How can I learn from this?And make the intention of asking these questions and listening for the answers from Soul, Spirit, Intuition rather than the answers that may show up from our ego. Soul answers with truth. It is normally not an emotional response. When you notice yourself in a state of over-analyzing or worry/doubt/fear about then use this as a chance to listen within and ask these questions.
And I bet if you ask these same questions to your client, Lauren, in a Gestalt-ish way, that you will see that all those stories she has shared with you will lead you to home. Stories that are shared by our clients can be like clues toward their deeper need. Which is almost always within themselves.
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Oh wow, I’m really curious to hear about this session with your client in more detail! But my first question is, do you remember what the questions were that you shifted? And how did they shift? I would love to hear the before and after!
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So much great insight shared here Heber! I also really enjoyed seeing your profile photo that you chose! Awesome.
As far as the last paragraph you wrote, what I noticed was your friend and where she sits in the Stages of Change from our Brain 1 work. If a person is in what we call pre-contemplation, then there is nothing we can really do. We cannot change or heal people until they are willing and interested in healing themselves. It’s their choice. And until they choose to be open and listen and grow, all we can do is really just be with them. And maybe your best choice is to try to live and be an example toward her deeper need. Allow her to see through you what it looks like and feels like to move from a highly aroused state to a place of calm and balance.
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I had never heard of the Great Red Road story before, but I like the sound of it. I will definitely look it up now that I know about it! Being aware of this connection and making intentional decisions from this space sounds like the ideal path toward attunement to your own Vision.
I am curious to hear more about your relationship with the past and how it coincides with moving forward to your chosen future. It’s important to use the past as a motivator and metaphorical “kick in the butt” to move forward, but living in that space of the past and trying to heal it or complete it may not bring the clarity and fulfillment that will truly serve. My question would be, how can you learn from the past and complete or heal it by making decisions in the future that align with what you learned?
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Isn’t it interesting how aware we become of our “programming” that we have created for ourselves over the years? That is the intention of these practices and with time we start to really see that we tend to drop into our parts that we have programmed. So glad you were able to see that a change to your outside world had a shift in your parts and your baseline.
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Laughter of the Soul! As I hear you share more and more about this part of you over the year it almost sounds like the mortar or bonding agent that keeps you aligned with Soul and Vision. Love it.
I would be interested to hear more about how your Parts have been interacting and showing up at work after our last F2F as well. I’m sure your classmates could get a lot of value if you shared your story and experience with this! If anything, I would love to hear more about it!
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Rollin, so much wisdom and great insight shared by you! What I enjoyed most from your post was not just your understanding and practicing of the material that you are learning about, but your ability to take the Partswork in a creative direction that works best for you. Practicing being aware of your parts in the present moment, and also being intentional of what parts you need to show up for certain future events, is a great way to utilize this practice so that you are able to keep learning and growing!
Also sharing your creative approach to this work shows that you are embracing this work from a place of love, enjoyment, and from Soul! I don’t hear you saying you HAVE to do this work, but rather you GET to do this work. And that right there is how you make this consistently into a way of life without experiencing “burn out”. Way to go!
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Mandy, sounds like you’re having a great coaching and learning experience with this client! One thing I’ve learned in my experience is that, as coaches, we can wear many hats. We can be an investigator, a story teller, a holder of space, and we can also be a teacher. And as we learn how we as human beings work and function, then educating our clients can be an amazing benefit to them! It can promote awareness and self discovery very quickly!
And from what you shared it sounds like sharing that bit of wisdom with your client allowed him to really sit and stay in contemplation and preparation around his deeper need. I’m sure that having that knowledge and understanding about himself now will only strengthen his dedication to growth and change in his personal life.
Also using the partswork out on the land sounds like it was a huge benefit as well! Seeing how these practices can tie together to promote the clients understanding of themselves will only strengthen your impact as a nature connected coach.
My only constructive feedback in what I read is that you said “the Want to be moving forward, to not be stuck any longer…” and I would invite you to have your client change their wording around “not be stuck any longer”. Rather, what does it feel like to not be stuck? Is it freedom? Empowerment? Have them focus on where they want to go, not where they don’t want to go.
I like to use the analogy of skiing, or mountain biking, through the woods and directly in front of you is a tree. Rather than saying,”don’t hit the tree, don’t hit the tree…” change the wording to “focus on where I want to go”. Because if you focus on not hitting the tree then your focus is still on the tree, and you will probably hit it. I’ve learned this lesson the hard way in my early days of skiing and biking, so learn from my mistakes. And trees don’t usually budge when you slam into them…
Focus on where you want to go, not on where you DON’T want to go. It will make a huge change.
Great stuff you’re experiencing in your coaching. I look forward to hearing more about it!
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Cory, yes!!! What you have shared is such a simple concept, but it seems that so many people don’t know how or choose not to apply it to their lives.
We have no control over the outside world, but we do have control over how we allow it affect us and how we respond to it. When we lash out at traffic, or when things aren’t going our way, we are telling ourselves that the outside world has a greater influence on us than we do on ourselves. And when we learn to choose our response we are telling and teaching ourselves how strong and capable we are of living in a place of soul-connection. Traffic is a great example of this because it allows us to practice this concept and it also allows us to see how much of the population goes “AGRO” during these times. A lot of the people in this world have not learned what you now know!
Also after the last meeting, and talking about our Reticular Activating System, I’m sure you’ll start noticing this concept in more areas of your life now that you are living it and understanding it. Because with our RAS, what we focus on expands. And so now that you are aware and practicing this, you will start noticing other areas where you might be influenced to get out of alignment, but now you have the tools to practice that awareness and re-align with that part of you that will serve you best!