Cory Steele
Forum Replies Created
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Summary Post
I always enjoy reading everyone’s experience. The brain and change modules have been my favorite, and I am reminded on a professional and personal level how unique the change looks. It can be as something as dramatic as the manifestation of change on the personal level, or something as small as deep introspection taking place. I say it is small, but it really follows the as above so below mantra. I notice certain believes and perceptions being challenged in myself that sets the stage for change to take place. Having this experience happen within myself grants me that much more gratitude when I see the change that is happening in other people. We see the actual manifestation take place, but under the surface there is so much going on that really appears to work like magic. -
My client has been working on change around being more kind and loving to everybody. He said, and I have seen that this has been true. He has gone from a nihilistic approach on life and people to one that is more open to experience. There was still a problem with his sister-in-law though. No matter what he was trying he could not change the way he was viewed her. I recommended some videos on Joe Dispenza, as well as talking about and finding an understanding around what thoughts he had about her. By talking about all of this we were able to map out some things for greater clarity.
We found that his thoughts about her were shaped on past experience of things that she would do that irritated him. I had him incorporate how he was feeling about her while he thought about what she did in the past. I told him that this was a memory, an attitude. That these attitudes compounded over time and formed perceptions around the way he views her. After some dialogue back and forth he shared more of his experience, but I had him try and be with his feelings in this moment, and not about something that happened in the past.
He was able to work out a greater awareness for himself. Stating that he was caught up thinking about how he used to feel about her. Now he is going to try to “go with no past” as Michael says into his next encounter to try and be aware of what he is thinking and feeling about her in the present moment. Instead of believing a past memory that was based on certain moods and attitudes he acquired. -
Summary Post
At first trauma appeared to be a big monster that I was trying to slay. However, after coaching and reading others’ experiences it provided me with a little more comfort. It reminds me of what was said back in the intensive about working through trauma and not necessarily healing it. The mind/body/spirit has a way of orienting itself towards health, and there is nothing that I really need to do to try and heal other than hold that space and allow the other to be with what they are with. As always, I enjoy seeing how each of you are using the tools we have gained and reading about things that did/didn’t work, and how this affected you as a coach. -
Initial Post
I have been working with a client who has some trauma around abandonment which causes him to have a lot of pent up anger towards the world on most of his relationships. He has been unable to have a serious relationship with his family, and most of his romantic relationships flutter out after a couple years. Working with him he has been unable to really process the trauma and let it work out of him, and he still holds on to so much of it. This in turn leaks its way into every aspect of his life. So, to help work with this I asked what is feeling associated with the story around father abandoning him. His description was blood boiling all over his body, an extreme hatred for the world and everything in it. We tried some resourcing exercises to see what, if any, things he might have to help him feel a space of calm. He is a spiritual person, so meditation and bringing back to the idea of unity and oneness helps. There is still a big story that is created by the mind that we are working through. I let him know that it is okay to feel what you are feeling because in the past he has suppressed and bottled up so much of what he was feeling that he would just make a problem bigger by eventually exploding to the point where people were afraid to be around him. By working in this way to allow him to feel the experience of what he is feeling, and pendulating with his experience from meditation on the unity and oneness of everything it is slowly creating a new story, and a new way of being for him to experience the world. -
Summary Post
One of my favorite parts of reading everyone’s posts is how many different ways of doing something there are. I am in a constant state of learning, unlearning, and relearning. What I think of as “my” way of working might not actually be working, so it helps to take me outside of myself and see all the beautiful ways people are applying these tools to coaching and their own lives. I love learning from all of you and growing and evolving by seeing how much you all teach me about yourself and this helps me grown and develop more and more. We are all so creative, and seeing that creativity manifest out into the world is a magnificent thing to experience. -
Initial Post
Working in Gestalt has been very beneficial for working with one of the clients, as her problem is not being in the present moment enough. She has found that she is in constant daydreams that take her out of the present moment. Establishing the coaching agreement is always about letting them know that there is no judgment and it is a safe and sacred space to be heard and to speak truthfully from the heart. Working outside in a park I had her simply just acknowledge the experience of what is being felt. Not to express anything, but truly experience it. Right now. In this moment. This was helpful to actually be in the present moment, and when the habits of daydreaming came up of leaving the present moment we would go back to the experience of feeling in the here and now.
As a coach it helped show me how one of my strengths is being connected to the present moment, and not listen to negative self-talk that is saying I’m not in the present moment so how can I help someone else be present.
Being outside really helped too because there was so much to experience in the natural world that hasn’t been constructed by humans. The texture of the grass on the feet, and what feelings that shows. The colors of the sky, the strength of the wind, and the smell of the moment. How all these help to show the person what is actually happening in this moment, and not be carried away by stories of the mind to far away places.
The challenges faced in the coaching session is the same one I face, along with many others in every day life which is to actually be present with the experience and not the story of the mind that creates narratives within narratives that develop into a complex drama of the human experience. To help adjust with this as a coach/human being just a simple whisper of “Be Here Now” works. For the client it is that, but also working to help evoke a state of being present. Not thinking about being present, leading back to another narrative. -
Summary Post
After reading through all these different experiences we are all having I can’t help but just be in a state of gratitude and awe. I’ve learned a lot about using so many tools from this module. I use the information about the anatomy of the brain, and neuroscience a lot to help the client paint a picture on something more tangible that is happening to them that seems in the mystical realm. I love hearing how everyone else is using these tools as well, as it allows me to play around with and look at other ways of improving my own coaching style. As well as just becoming a better overall human being in this world. -
Having that awareness to notice that you feel unqualified in some aspect, yet listen to your intuition I think is very powerful. You have such a gift to share with people, and it sounds like through some collaboration you were able to continue to work with this client and work to be in a place that provided growth and change to continue to happen.
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Lisa, you have such a great awareness of both yourself and the client. Really being able to meet her where she was at, and to notice in yourself the other role there, but not necessarily act on them. I could tell in your writing that you were there with her as she needed you to be, and not as you wanted it to be perhaps with your own agenda.
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Sandy, it sounds like you really created a powerful intention around the coaching presence. Allowing yourself, as well as her, to sit into a calm place after talking about some other things. I loved how you incorporated calm music and smells to add to your calm presence to allow both nervous systems to settle in to the session. The questionnaire you handed out was a really nice gesture as well. It sounds like you two have been making great progress together.
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Wow Ben! There was so much going on in your session! That is awesome how different aspects of partswork, pendulation, and others tools were used. It sounds like she got to that space she wanted, and you helped her develop a good piece of incorporation of a daily ritual around that morning discussion. It felt like you were right there with her, true coaching, as well as showing up with the established intentions. Thanks for sharing that experience!
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Sandy, that is awesome that by working to find resources together it has helped her deal with more of life and the traumas that arise. You sound like you are very hands on and right there with the client matching the frequency she is at. All the exercises you were doing sounded like they really payed off, and you provided her with a different way of looking at issues in her life. That ability to create the space for another to create awareness within themselves is a very powerful gift you have!
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Josh, congratulations on the collaboration that is really cool to see you move forward with this work of yours! I enjoyed reading your post because it is so relatable. I find myself at times with preconceived notions of what a story should look like/does look like. However, it sounds like you were able to really meet the client where they were at and let them be with it instead of allowing your own set of circumstances dictate how things went.
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MJ, that is interesting and very cool to see how you were able to both drop out of your intimate roles to something more “professional.” Working in a space that you did really showed myself more of how we really are working with and in nature all the time whether we consciously realize it or not. Reading about your experience it sounded like everything was flowing between Gestalt and Partswork, instead of trying to make it a checklist of things you two must be doing to try and accomplish.
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Ben, I enjoyed reading and seeing your process of coaching presence and awareness develop. Your understanding and noticing that there was a friend part of you that was coming up, and that you noticed that is really something. I have found that it can be difficult when we want people who are closer to us to succeed maybe more than a “stranger.” Even though you might have cognitively had doubts about the questioning you had it still sounded like your were carried by your intuition and was able to not only bring him into the present moment, but yourself as well. Very cool to hear about your experience!