[Allyson Duffin-Dalton]

I have chosen to write this assignment from the view that I am the client.

During this intensive I was struggling terribly with my own depression, suicidal ideations, chronic pain, a stressful and debilitating workplace and mental turmoil surrounding what I was going to do about it all.

I felt comfort knowing that each of my cohort members reached out to ask about my wellbeing. I wanted to take that with me and put it forward for my life. I know that everyone lives with/or can’t live with their own grief and loss. Likewise, grief and loss look different and don’t always represent death. For me, I was dealing with the loss of a pain free life, potentially and most likely looking at a life of 24/7/365 pain and how I could ever make it through it. I also was experiencing extreme workplace burnout and dealing with coworkers that didn’t hold the same level of care for our clients. I knew that if I had taken a moment to just breathe, reach out, or spend some time sitting in nature that I would have gotten some comfort, but when you feel so far gone, you can’t see the way out. I had developed such a neural disruption that I was convinced the only way to be was depressed, in pain and suicidal. I was able to change one aspect of what was going on and everything else followed suit. When things are bad, they all seem bad, but something is good you can see the light everywhere.

Taking the time to sit out on the land with my thoughts and redirect my pain into something tangible and manageable helped me out of the dark. I had put in my notice at work 3 days before the intensive began, so I used that time to gather my portfolio of grooming clients and plan out my next steps in my mind where it couldn’t be lost in a notebook or scrap of paper. I also got some one on one time to just cry and be by myself, hold myself and talk to myself.

Overall, a lot of factors and things that I learned during the week of grief ad BC2 helped me overcome my struggles. I am grateful for the time and educational materials we were provided with.

[Allyson Duffin-Dalton]

I have three practice clients through EBI, so I will reference each of them as C1, C2 and C3.

C1- Working with this client has helped me understand life for an older (50+) individual. This client is newly single, struggling with finding a partner, working somewhere that is draining and disrespectful to their nature and path, and wanting to change their future and plans.

C2- This client and I have been working together for about 8 months, off and on, and with varying intensity. Working with this client has been a real treat as I get to see their journey and growth real time.

C3- I have only been working with this client for about 2 months, but the relationship has progressed and we have both become more open in our coaching techniques, styles, and experiences.

I start all of my sessions with “When you woke up this morning, what was it like to be you?” I feel this helps ground my client, instead of them thinking “When I get into my session tonight I’m going to talk about this problem I had on Monday and how it pissed me off…” This question helps me understand where my client is at the moment and get into the same space, it also gives clients the opportunity to get real descriptive. I have noticed when I don’t start with this question the session can move a little slower, versus when I do use it the session progresses more like a friendly chat, with cooperation and excitement on both sides. I also always ask if my client needs a moment to do some breathing exercises, a guided or solo meditation, and if they feel comfortable/need to move or shift. I believe that by me asking these questions it shows that I care about my clients comfort, their feelings and emotions, the energy that they may need to expel, and give them permission to just be. C2 often will leave their desk and go behind them to pull a note from their wall to show me, or to add a note to their wall. I believe that a client that feels comfortable enough to get up and move or walk away while still remaining connected and focused shows that the client feels comfortable and secure, regardless of being on zoom or in person. C1 often shows me their cat and reads to me the things they have posted on their wall, which shows me that I have presented and open and interested guide that allows my clients to feel that I am truly here to be with them during this process.

C1 has been attempting to get back in to the dating scene, while also working on accepting their new role as a coach, and establishing a new life path with their career and hobby. This has been a long time coming for them and changing their mindset to start accepting payment for the sessions instead of offering them for free. C1 has also expressed numerous times, on different levels of intensity mind you, that they are ready to quit their job and start their coaching full time, or convert their hobby to full time, and pursue a profitable career with either of those options. I have truly enjoyed working with this client because I can see their progress and watch from the sidelines how well they are doing and where their future is taking them. Meeting 4 times a month has also helped me to try new techniques without the fear of really messing up; if I met with a client once a month for 90 minutes, I may only have one shot to try something new, however since we work together more regularly than that I have the opportunity to introduce in the beginning of the session that I would like to do something different, or work on something with the client that they seem interested in doing that I otherwise may not be able to. This client, being my first longterm coaching client, has helped me with my own brain change and accepting a new role in my life. This particular client takes a walk around their subdivision every evening so I liked to wrap up sessions with “What are you taking on your walk?” This has truly helped me feel like I am closing a session and getting permission from the client to close it out. Then, I make a note about what they took and at the next session I ask what they brought back.

C2 has been doing extensive work on their garden and developing it into an outdoor area to hold space and facilitate sessions with their own clients. I truly enjoy getting to hear about their progress and see the joy they exude when they talk about it. I know that through working with this client and witnessing the growth they and their garden are going through, that nature alone is bringing happiness and excitement, clarity and dedication to their future.

I would like to do this more with clients that I have in person, but I do not actually have any, so zoom will do! I want to incorporate gardening, herbs and dirt into my sessions with clients, and have them pick a plant/seed that they can care for during the work we do together. I want them to be able to confide in their plant and report back to me with the results of its growth when they vent to it or when they rave to it. I would also like for my clients to be able to develop a ritual that includes time spent in nature daily—doing something for themselves, something for the earth, or something for their community.

Working as a nature connected coach means that I have to show how building and developing a connection to nature can be healing, transforming and challenging. It isn’t as easy as just go sit outside for a few minutes, but also it is as easy as that. There are many barriers for people that prevent them being able to dedicate the time to such a change in their life, but working through those walls and issues can help bring clarity and openness.

[Allyson Duffin-Dalton]

@deanna.falge

I couldn’t imagine working with someone who is at such an impressionable age, in high school and on the cusp of adulthood. I hated high school, so if I had to sit with someone while they discussed their struggles and triggers I would try to become as emotionally distant as possible. I’m sure you are helping your client immensely, and that she appreciates it! Gestalt seems to be doing exactly what it is meant to do for you and your client.
I am also a fixer, and catch myself wanting to help them make the right choice, instead of helping them see that only they truly know their way. I’m eager to hear how you and your client have been doing since you started incorporating Gestalt.

[Allyson Duffin-Dalton]

@gmlobito1
Gena, I admire the work you are doing with your community. I live in STL City, and if you watch the news at all you’ll see that we’re having a rough go of things. We really can’t get anyne to go to our neighborhood meetings, I organize street clean ups and no one shows, and we have extremely high violence, poverty, and theft rates. When I meet someone on the street that just threw trash down and could have put it in the community can on the corner they seem to think that someone else will come clean it up, which is usually me when we walk our dogs. I am struggling to stay in the moment with them, and instead thinking about all the time that I have spent cleaning up their messes instead of enjoying a walk with my girls, and how I’ll have to clean after them during my next walk. I’ll work more on staying in the moment and pausing for reflection before I respond to them next time.

[Allyson Duffin-Dalton]

@lesliewier

I feel awful for your friend, and all social workers who are over worked and under paid. Especially during a time like this, I worry who is there for them. I’m glad to hear that you are able to help your friend, and hopefully this is something that she will continue to work on with herself during her very limited down time.

I also haven’t figured out how to organically bring in parts work, but I have very few “practice clients” so I don’t get much “practice.” I Like how you adjusted your session to better fit your client’s needs and found that she had some parts that were already present with information to share.

[Allyson Duffin-Dalton]

@sarahhope

That sounds incredible! I like how you were able to bring her back to the present by encouraging her playful part to work together to reach a direction to go. At first I thought “Oh this poor chick is doing 3 hula hoops at once AND telling her story!?” But then I realized they were just on the ground haha.

I’m happy that she came around to incorporating parts into your session together, and I hope that it continues to work with her. Knowing what we know now, a few weeks after our Brain Change and Trauma intensive, sounds like there was some pendulation going on!

[Allyson Duffin-Dalton]

@mariarosagalter

“He used the metaphor of being a Lighthouse and that by doing his own spiritual work and keeping his interior Lighthouse shining, those who need him will find him.”

This was beautiful! I’m so happy that your client is able to identify his needs and focus more on his own work and soul and by doing so he knows that others will see the work he’s doing and come to him. I often feel disappointed that I don’t have practice clients and that I absolutely should at this point, and then I think that I must still have work to do before I can attract the people that need me most.

The trip out on the land with your client sounds like a real ground breaking moment. The “I am the boss” really hit me, and to practically SEE your client (because you have such a way with imagery) standing on a rock with a slight smile across his face, absorbing more light to project onto the world, sounds like a magical experience.

[Allyson Duffin-Dalton]

I do not have an official practice client, so the responses here are with my fish bowl client.

I start all of my sessions with a deep breathing exercise, and I always ask if my clients would like to join, or if they would like a guided breathing/meditation exercise. I feel that by doing this my client and I can create a new baseline that we are both operating at together. This time, my client was not interested, and preferred to sit while I tuned in to the moment. I felt there was a disconnect from the beginning due to this, but carried on.
As we worked through the session I asked about their parts and how they were dealing with the emotions and energy that the client was experiencing. My client agreed to pull up their mandala but not to share it, and I asked about some of their parts. This is a big challenge when it comes to NCC or Partswork via zoom, relying on clients to want to share their mandala of parts, and if they are unwilling then the partswork doesn’t get very far. We sat in silence while they organized and changed their mandala, and when I asked questions there wasn’t really an answer. I eventually asked if we could put the mandala away as I could see that they were started to slump their shoulders, hide their mouth with their other hand, stop answering completely and overall the tone of the session had changed for the worse. I don’t know that I would try to do partswork for the first time with a client over a zoom session.
When it comes to HOW I would like to incorporate partswork with my NCC I have a vision. I would like to take my client out on the land for an initial session, discuss some of their easy to identify parts and explain to them how they can make a mandala and show them mine. Then, lead them on a weekend or overnight session/retreat/thing and ask them to identify themselves in the land. I like to think that everyone has a strong and wise part like a mighty oak, and maybe they have a shy or dangerous part like a babbling brook that leads to rapids. With the client able to identify a tangible being to an inner part, I believe they can work to conquer many of the challenges and disagreements that may surface within their parts.
Like I mentioned before, I felt that my client was very distracted and struggled to maintain connection during the session, and became very distant while organizing their mandala. We eventually came to an issue that they were struggling with, feeling positive about themselves and their accomplishments. After sometime, we discovered that some positive daily affirmations and perhaps a mantra would help to build their confidence and encourage them to keep working and moving forward.
I truly enjoy partswork, and I hope that we do more work with it. Through our intensive and the extra research I have done I have noticed just how deep this can go, and how easy it can be to get others to talk about their parts. Often when I do partswork by myself, or while having a hard time at work I drop into soul and ask my parts who is causing this pain for me, I release some negative energy and wind up crying. I am a firm believer that a good sob can turn your day around. Partswork is such a pure and releasing practice, and I want to learn everything I can about it. In order for me to confidently work on partswork with clients, though, I need to be confident in my own parts, and able to understand what I am going through so I can help my clients.
I believe that in every ecosystem there are parts that work together for the greater goal of survival. Oceans, deserts, forests, mountain ranges, and the human body are made of parts that agree and disagree, work together and against each other to build and develop.

[Allyson Duffin-Dalton]

I do not have a practice client, but I can write from my perspective as a coach during our fishbowls.

During our session, my client expressed that they could not think of anything they needed coaching on, and that I would not be able to help them. I recognized resistance from the beginning. The client did not want to participate in a warm up of deep breathing or a short meditation. After some chatter they mentioned a difficulty in self appreciation and acceptance. I asked, at one point, if we could do some partswork, which seemed to work for a while, until they got distracted. They started moving parts around, adding and deleting parts, stopped answering my questions and avoiding eye contact. There was a loss of connection, and I asked where they were and what was happening, and if it would be better to just exit out of their mandala. Eventually, my client opened up about their feelings revolving around the issues with self and soul, and connection was restored. After hearing my client express self-doubt and the emotions and pain they feel, I said something along the lines of “Can I just say, it hurts me to know that you feel this way/treat yourself like this.” I believe this expression of truth from me helped to build trust and connection within our relationship. At the end of our session, they determined a daily affirmation to remind themselves that they are not worthless, and in fact have value.

I truly had no idea what Gestalt was throughout the week. Going in to fishbowls I still struggled with identifying it. The best way I can explain it is what is currently happening, in the present, between the client, the coach, and the client’s personal responsibility to themselves. I understand how so much can be happening internally; pain and joy, hunger for newness, desire for change, anger at whatever presence is there, conflict and emptiness, and the struggle to maintain a connected presence is often harder than we think. I recognized, through a computer screen, that my client was disconnected from the start, and as we went through the session, all connection was lost. I tried many ways to rebuild the connection, or establish any connection at all, and was somewhat successful.

Participating in a session via zoom has been difficult because I wasn’t aware of the signs of disconnect, drifting, or inability to focus, but now that I am aware of the concentration and relationship of connection I feel that I can successfully coach via zoom sessions. It would be much easier to coach in nature, where there are fewer distractions and unnatural emergences, though, but with the current state of our world, adaption is key.

[Allyson Duffin-Dalton]

This module, talking about who our ideal clients are, starting our business, marketing ourselves, it really put into prospective for me that we are out in this world with knowledge that so very few have and we should be offering it to people. I hadn’t been taking it too seriously because of the lax due dates, and I fully regret that, because had I been more attentive and been on top of my assignments and business page and intake forms I may have clients by now.

The work that we are doing is intense, and I know that I have mentioned this before. I constantly have to remind my boss and those that ask that this isn’t some weekend check in when you can program; this program requires me to do my own side work, study things I want to learn, brush up on topics we have already addressed, expand my horizons and explore the unknown. Not only is their paper work to do, there is constant reading and learning, videos to watch and people to talk to/interview, places to go and ways to be and soul searching.

I don’t want to have to search myself and ask why I will only work with so and so or who or where or what. Asking these questions of myself though will get me further. EBI has done a great job of getting me to function in the unknown and be somewhat comfortable there.

[Allyson Duffin-Dalton]

@sophieturner

Thanks for sharing your vision and ideal client! We have come a long way! I, too, would like to lead workshops, but the thought of having more than 5 or 6 seems scary to me. Building and encouraging my own connection to nature can certainly help me show my future clients the benefits of a deep and long lasting friendship with Earth.

Are you finding it hard to incorporate nature into your Zoom sessions?

[Allyson Duffin-Dalton]

I have been struggling with a vision of who my ideal client is, and what makes them ideal for me. I want to primarily work with women, and hopefully women that are discovering their strength and working toward empowerment. Other women that want to see change in the world, want to be the change in the world, are the women that I want to work with. The world needs strength and togetherness right now, and hopefully I can lead groups on weekend guidance retreats. I am also interested in working with women that want to be more self-sufficient and live more naturally so I would be able to encourage foraging, plant identification, tinctures/teas and ways to provide for the Earth that provides for us. Ideally, the women I would work with would be between 22-45, eager to explore the wilderness and ready to get dirty. Open mindedness is also a requirement, as I don’t want either of us to waste our time. Women that feel they have something to offer but don’t have the key to unlock their potential are the clients I want to work with.

I want to offer all new clients a “wandering interview” to get us both on the same page. Existing clients can always request another wander or just ask for sessions to be out on the land. Clients that sign up for a package session will have the ability to do a weekend session and camp, fast, hike and feel the energy in the wilderness. With my friends that I have had sessions with I have asked how they want assistance in between sessions, so I text them a few days after the session and ask how they are and where are at with their goals.

I see a future of weekend and weeklong trips with groups of powerful, engaging and wild women. I would like to offer the trip as part of a package; 3-5 sessions before the trip followed by 3-5 sessions after would be nice, that way I could get a good grip on what needs and goals they have going out onto the land.

A different aspect of my guide work that I hope to market is vegan/plant based diet change. I prepare all of our food from scratch and live a (very close to) zero waste lifestyle, and the being PB and ZW go hand in hand. Meal preps in my client’s kitchen, trips to co-ops or farmers markets and recipe sharing will be the forefront of this portion of my business. In order for this to be successful for me I need to take more pictures of my food and my time at the farmer’s market to reach a bigger population. An age range for this portion of my work hasn’t been set yet, but I will hopefully have a better view of my ideal client soon.

[Allyson Duffin-Dalton]

@sophieturner

I think you do a very good job of making your clients feel heard and staying actively engaged throughout the session. I also notice the bird song wherever I go, I have used my 360 listening and wide angle vision to find dogs that I’m trying to track down!

[Allyson Duffin-Dalton]

I enjoyed being a client as it helped me understand that I have my own things to work on, but that by me being present with my own issues and life struggles can and will help me be a better coach/guide. I cried during some sessions which made me feel better for the rest of the day as the energy just needed to flow through me. I didn’t realize enjoy being in the threshold, I like the action part, coming up with a plan and a goal to get me where I need to be.

For my session, I took time to repot a very neglected philodendron. I got the plant from a person who I thought I could count on, so I figured tending to the plant would help me tend to myself as well. It worked, and I felt stable and calm with the soil under my nails as I trimmed away the death and rot and cut apart stems to spread the growth. Having my hands in a pot of rich, dark and cool soil helped me discover what aspects of Nature I want to incorporate in my guidance work.

I have done a lot of reading on the ICF core competencies and tried to find better ways to say things that I have in the past that would fit into the C.Cs, and I believe what I should work on more is “Evoking Awareness,” or my phrasing of what I want to say. I am very much an advice giver, so trying to hold my tongue while I ask clients insightful questions gets difficult, but when they achieve their awareness it’s so much sweeter than had I suggested something that possibly wouldn’t have even worked. Since I have yet to find a client that I can improve with, I also have trouble keeping the session headed in one way, as I’m interested in all directions that the client has told me. I think if I could lead 3 hour sessions I’d have it nailed!

I’m looking forward to being able to strengthen my abilities and techniques and approach guide work from many angles.

[Allyson Duffin-Dalton]

This is in response t the summary post, but for some reason it is showing up as the initial post.

Our foundations intensive was just that—intense. When I applied to this program I didn’t know what I was getting into, and I read the words ‘Nature-Connected Coach’ and thought “Hmm… So I can hang out in nature and help people feel more connected to it?” The hippy in me was ENTHRALLED, and the knowledge pursuer tagged along. When we started the intensive back in August I finally realized what we were training to do. I shared this with my friends and coworkers and received a lot of negative feedback along the lines of ‘scam’, ‘you aren’t the person for that’, ‘you’re paying money for that?’ and I felt, for the first time in my life, that I had found my tribe, my school, my cohort. Life doesn’t need to be surrounded by the negativity that I have lived in, like a sand pit, and I can easily and happily walk on land. Now I have a lot of people asking about my training, people who I never thought would have flipped their script, interested in my books and the techniques that I am being trained to use. I think that a lot of people thought this would be some stupid simple program, but when I need to take a week off work, and I need to take a long break to do a class, leave early for class, they understand. I have told them that the program is intense, and called intensives, because they want to send people that are well equipped and properly trained into the world to help.

I couldn’t be happier to be here. I’m struggling staying on task, I’m getting disappointed in the lack of clients that I have found, but I am working less hours at a negative swamp and I am learning, so I am happy. I love the little family that we have all formed, the connections that have been forged through the internet and the education that we are all learning together. I love that through each other we are also learning things not directly related to the program.

Coming in to the program I thought that my brain damage made me a bad listener and that I could/should use it as an excuse. Moving through the program I discovered that my TBI gave me an interesting way of listening that I had previously thought was a hindrance: I get fixated on a word or phrase and then I can’t get it out of my head. Now, I pick up on the words/phrases that the client seems to go back on and I can use that with them. EBI is helping me define and strengthen my attributes and strive to be the best that I can for my clients.